throw me a party on a mountainside

I was on the south side of town so I made a quick stop in the J. Crew clearance center (the J. Crew distribution center for the South East is in Arden, NC) to see if they had any deals. They always do, I don't know why I always go there because I always end up buying something... but today was a great day because they had a bunch of their party dresses on sale (they hardly ever are on the sale rack, they are always $70, which is nothing considering they sell in the catalog for $200+ but too much for my party dress budget). I got this one, which orginially retailed for $275 in a great purple color for $7. I also got the one below in black for $7 (it also retailed for $275).

Now I just need some kickin' parties to wear them to. Or just wear them around town, this is Asheville, after all.

And speaking of Asheville, since the weather got cold today and it was clear and sunny and GORGEOUS... it feels like the dumbest idea in the world to want to move back to DC. Though, when I was in DC this weekend, it felt like the dumbest idea in the world to STAY IN ASHEVILLE. I just forgot how intoxicating the fall is here. I just need to have a life where I can live in two places. And wear awesome cocktail dresses.

guh the weather here... so awesome. I wore tights today but all I wanted to do was go backpacking.

No one really prepares you for how unreasonable the 20-something's mind is.

movies and other boring things

I finally went and got a Buncombe County library card on Saturday and was so pleased to be reminded of their nice DVD section, all of which are free to rent for 7 days! So I picked out Pierrot Le Fou, a French movie from 1965. It is kind of hard to follow, but the beautiful scenes and 60's style kept my attention. I took that screen capture because the subtitles were just as amusing as the scene (!) I'd recommend if you are philosophical by nature or just like good scenes. In the movies, women's bangs never get greasy. My bangs are usually greasy by about 4:00PM.

I also recently saw 500 Days of Summer and have been listening to the soundtrack ever since. A+, even if I've already worn out many of the songs years ago. I have a serious girlcrush on Zooey Deschanel- the 3rd Rock from the Sun guy can forget it. I have serious aspirations/tendencies to be a cross between the character of Summer in 500 Days of Summer and Amelie in Amelie (Audrey Tautou). But seriously, is Zooey Deschanel human? I think she is an angel. (the movie was ok, major chick flick).

I also recently saw Ponyo and that was another trippy Anime adventure courtesy of Hayao Miyazaki. I have to say I still prefer Spirited Away, even if Tina Fey does a voiceover in the US version of Ponyo. Still, some pretty awesome animation that isn't the stupid 3D crap that is pretty much all that exists anymore.

My computer started acting wonky around the beginning of August and I assumed it was a virus. My roommate Kim's boyfriend was so nice and looked at it for me and figured out that the HARD DRIVE WAS CRASHING... wtf Dell?!! But since it is under a year old Dell sent a new hard drive for free. I'm back up and running and soon I'll have all my old data back. I did consider buying a Macbook for about 3 days, though. So yeah, just another person to tell you that Dell sucks.

It's been pretty cool at night here for the past few days. I finally got a bed (!) and am not sleeping on the floor anymore. That means that it's way harder to get up in the morning and that laying about all weekend is an option again. I am so thankful, though the floor wasn't so bad.

I always have big ideas to make this blog a hub of excitement but all I can seem to do with it is make it too personal and not update it enough.

The Kids Don't Stand a Chance

I think Asheville is in the middle of the peak summer heat wave right now. I have slept with my backup fan blowing on my head the past two nights. Having no AC is still very satisfying in an OCD energy-conservation kind of way.

I bought a car! I will take pictures soon. It is a white 2003 Honda Civic Hybrid. Hybrid means I don't feel as guilty about buying a car as I would have if it were not a hybrid. Mainly, I am in love with it because

1. It's freaking cute and awesome
2. The turning radius turns me on (seriously, it beats the volvo my mom had)
3. It's the color I wanted
4. It has an electric engine to help the gas engine
5. it CUTS OFF COMPLETELY WHEN YOU STOP!!!!!!!!!!! SO AWESOME
6. MAIN REASON: it has awesome miles-per-gallon tools that tell you how many MPG you're using at any given time. It also can record the average MPG you get when you set the miles- like, when you track how many miles you go, it will also track your average MPG. (I'm currently in the process of seeing how accurate the MPG tools are by doing the math the old skool way so we'll see how that goes)
7. I didn't get it at a stupid car dealership. My advice to the sensitive cats in the world: don't shop at car dealerships. They are insane! There is no "deal" about it, just getting hosed by a-hole car dealers. I had major problems with the whole "haggling" process and getting disrespected because I am a young woman. Craigslist all the way.

Also, hilarious point about hybrid drivers, if you notice they drive really slow: it's because they want REALLY GOOD MPG. So addicting and fun to get 100MPG going down hills at 35 mph... not realizing/not caring you're holding up traffic.

So I am in the process of becoming a full fledged North Carolina resident. I passed the NC written driving test and didn't miss a single question! Some of those suckers are a little tricky, but hell if I was going to go back to the DMV another time. That's like taking a trip to hell and deciding to return for another round. Now I wait for my new license to come in the mail. Then I have to go get NC tags for my car, then I will be a real person. I have to say I am totally spoiled by the car already, public transportation down here is the suck for sure. I try to take the bus when I can to go to/from work but the new hasn't worn off of driving the cutest car around town.... so I need to get over that. Adventures to DC are in the future, as well as Raleigh/Chapel Hill, Weldon (NC) and Beaufort, SC. I already went home once and that was the worst shitshow of all time, won't be doing that again anytime soon. Sometimes home is so. hard.

In case the internet world is wondering: I broke up with my boyfriend. It has been awful. I feel like crap just about all the time, but I am slowly feeling better. I guess it's something we all have to go through. I have been trying to distract myself with the car, friends, etc but I can't keep busy enough. It was so much easier to be insanely busy in DC. Asheville just isn't happenin' as much. It makes me feel like such an island- really distant from everything I thought I knew. The past year I feel like I've grown up more than any other year probably since I was an infant. It's so uncomfortable- I've been really wanting to hit the "rewind" button on life a lot lately (it makes me think about my friend Pete's tatoo of the play, pause, stop, fast forward and rewind buttons like on a remote). I know I will get better- I am getting better. I just need to quit being alone and hiding and schedule the shit out of my life again.

I've been listening to Vampire Weekend and The Magnetic Fields non-stop.

I get by with a little help from my friends

kids

Summer is halfway through, amazing! I really dislike summer, for the most part. South Carolina ruined it for me, I guess.

Asheville living is going really well. I went to DC for the 4th of July and to Beaufort SC last weekend for my grandma's 85th birthday. Both adventures went well.

I'm shopping to buy a car and it sucks. I really want the Honda Civic Hybrid but they are kind of hard to find. So I'm settling for just a regular Honda Civic. Trying to buy a car without a car to shop for cars is really hard. I've already had several bad encounters with dealership jackasses and I would like to refrain from doing that until the end of time. I can't believe how people will lie to you and put on such a performance and expect you to fall for it and give them big amounts of money. Please. Bitch, please.

So, sometimes I have daily themes, and yesterday had a really clear one: CHILDREN. A friend of a friend who I know distantly gave birth yesterday to a little girl. The mom is my age, married, other than that the same song and dance for the most part- I can't stop thinking about it though. It's the first person I've known that was my age to have a baby. I think it's so flabbergasting to me because it's a really real wakeup call to the fact that I am a GROWNUP. I mean, not really, but you know. That could be me. I'm not ready for that type of grownup activity yet- but god. It is so magic and scary and beautiful. I wonder if I'll ever be ready for that.

To cap off all those thoughts I babysat last night for the first time in a long time- 2 boys, 3 years old and 6 years old. I guess it's my selfish 20's narcissism but how on earth do people do that?! Parenting is so hard- it must be rewarding enough, I understand the romantic aspects of having a family but the day-to-day is really hard. I'm sure all these questions and observations are just signs that I am absolutely not ready for any of this, though I know I could do it if I really had to.

When I ride the bus to work in the morning I've been recognizing faces that are on the ride. There is one family, usually just the mom and the two little kids (boy and girl, both under 5, the mom is my age). The kids are always chirping and whirring and eating some part of their breakfast (one morning it was a bag of potato chips!) while their mom tries to keep them from being too loud. This morning the dad was there too and they were arguing all the way to the daycare stop. How do any of us survive our families? How does anyone make it out halfway decent? I know some families are much easier to grow up with than others- even still, everyone has their problems. You must be really idealistic and in love to even consider having a family with anyone- I hope I am that way someday.

I'll just end this post with this

Coming Home

A lot has been going on. I moved back to Asheville (very stressful) but I am really happy about it. My boyfriend helped me a lot which was really nice. After all the mean packing got done we went to Great Falls, VA to check out the crazy waterfalls on the Potomac (see picture).

My new job is really exciting and exactly what I should have been doing the whole time. Happy non-profit flexible job! My office is in the upstairs of a cute house across the street from a great coffee shop. There are two types of lavender next to the sidewalk to the porch as well as a hydrangea. Those are basically my two favorite plants/flowers. The lavender is blooming right now so you can smell it when you walk by. From the window of my desk I can see the blue ridge mountains. It has been my fantasy in life to live in a room where you can see those mountains. My senior year of college I could kind of see a ridge line- so I guess that counts, but I finally have the real deal with this office. Unbelievable. I miss talkin' trash and recycling but energy conservation is all related.

My new apartment is super cute and really cheap. I live downtown and can walk to everything I need. I am around the corner from Greenlife Grocery for instant food gratification and I just discovered today that the closest ATM to me is from a credit union and DOESN'T CHARGE ME A FEE TO USE IT?!?! Magic happens in Asheville. Anyways, my room is pretty small but that is ok with me, it is basically only for sleeping and dressing and storing. It is a 3 bedroom apartment in a big house that has been separated into apartments. I am still searching for a bed (hard to do without a car) so I have a palate on the floor which is fine for now. The biggest improvement overall I think are all the windows in my life now. There are windows in my office (my old office didn't have windows, it was awful), there are WINDOWS IN MY ROOM that look over a wooded lot. Since the room is on the second floor of the house it feels like I am in a tree house!! Lots of trees. I can hear birds, even identify some of them! There is a church close by that rings bells on the hour. At 12:00, 5:00 and I think 6:00 it plays crazy bell songs for like 15 minutes. I'm in love. It's exactly what I wanted / needed.

New roommate K is totally awesome, as well. She and I went to college together and it is really such a good situation. She has a cat, Queen, that lives with us too. I am allergic to cats, only if I pet them and love them like I want to though. So we live an awkward existence- I talk to Queen a lot but if she gets too close I have to shoo her away. I hate doing that but so it goes. I call her the following names:
Queen
Queenie
Queen Bean
McQueen
Little White Cat
Little Cat
Bad Cat

I thought for a while that Eloise (from one of my favorite children's books of all time) had a pet dog named Queenie but after some research it turns out her pug is named Weenie. Queen is 15 years old! She acts younger than that, though. She takes a long time to sit down. She is very small and quiet. She tries to go out of the door of the apartment anytime you open it, though when she does actually get out she is too scared to go down the stairs to properly escape. Our relationship is complicated and sad because I do love her but I can't pet her, so she is still kind of mystified by me. She is a very friendly cat.

Since moving back I have been riding my bike to and from work every day. The first few days were kind of hard- I had to reacquaint myself to the hills around here. Now I am pretty comfortable with them- I think a lot of it is just getting into routine. I am in the process of getting a car, sadly, because the program I'm doing requires it. I'm telling myself it won't be so bad because I can drive home for the weekend if I want, or drive to Pisgah to go hiking, go to DC, go to my favorite grocery store on the planet Amazing Savings (they don't have a website! Figures...) or go to anywhere I want.

This morning, my first real Saturday since I've been back, I got up extra early to check out a yard sale on my street. I was hoping for a bed- they did have a futon, which I considered, but I really don't like sleeping on futons. Instead I got a MSR Whisperlite Internationale Backpacking Stove, something I have wanted SPECIFICALLY for years- they were selling it for $20! Ha! This stove rules because:
#1 It's a Whisperlite, the stove I am used to using since my very first backpacking trip
#2 It's SOOOO LIGHT
#3 It's constructed really simply so even an engineering dummy like me can take the thing apart and fix it if it's screwy
#4 The internationale version of the Whisperlite can run off of lots of different kinds of fuels, not just white gas. This sucker can even run on JET FUEL if you happen to have it when your plane crashes and you have extra jet fuel. EXTRA SPECIAL!!!!

I also got a Minolta Dynax 5 SLR film camera for $25. I just need to get some batteries! What a steal. All my SLR's die (I probably have a graveyard of at least 4 or 5 in my room in my mom's house) so when I see a cheap one I like to snatch it up and use it until it dies, too. It's cheaper than getting the old ones fixed, that's for damn sure. So hopefully some happy really nice pictures soon. This camera even came with the instruction book and still had the original receipt! Crazy! Maybe this one won't die. I can hope.

I also made french toast for breakfast, something I haven't done in a long time. I should cook things that aren't stir-fry more often. haha. NAAAHHHH

Being back in Asheville has felt like coming home. I am really pleased with everything so far.

Everything needs to fix itself

I am feeling very frustrated and lame right now. I really hate not being busy (socially). There are a lot of complex things going on but as sad as they all are it boils down to the fact that I really can't wait to get out of here. There are a lot of things that I want to stay in DC for but in every situation there is something to ruin it. For example: I love my roommate E. We are great roommates. But I HATE LIVING IN A BASEMENT. I love trash, recycling, money, and my coworkers at my job. I HATE MY BOSS. I HATE MY TASKS AT WORK. WORK IS MISERABLE. These examples go on and on. So I may as well just leave all this shit to fix itself and possibly return in the future. I am sad and excited at the same time.

Asheville here I come! I'm leaving in 3 or 4 days.