negative limerick

my heart is heavy
I am filled with DREAD
if I see that fat man Santa
I will shoot him in the head

would rather celebrate alone
than surrounded by the past
just want to feel better
I hope Christmas goes by fast

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! But I think I'll miss this one this year.

I need to write a post while I'm feeling (mostly) awesome.

The theme for Christmas this year is:

CHRISTMAS CAN SUCK A DICK 2K9

All that means is that I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. Don't care! (this is a lie)

It snowed between 12 and 17 inches in Asheville and basically all my wildest dreams came true (not true) but it made me SO HAPPY (THANK YOU SANTA). I love that the city shut down and I got to roam the streets and pick up snow and eat it everywhere I went. Snowball fights with strangers, giant snowmen, lots of booze, awesome storm times.... xtreme fun. I was hopeful that the snow might cancel Christmas (prevent me from going home) but the snow is probably going to melt and make that a reality again. I have to go back to hoping to get swine flu. Working from home again tomorrow means more happy fun time. It is putting a damper on my running schedule but that is ok- there is plenty of time for that when everything goes back to normal.

I think in line with the tradition of 40 days of 40's that my friends would do during Lent in college, I may be soon celebrating the 12 days of Champagne Christmas (starting today). Life is so much better with snow and Champagne and NO EXAMS or school stress.

This weekend I drank Brandy from a bottle and had a snowball chaser. There is something about snow and liquor that just goes hand in hand.

Oh man, I am ok. I am just as awesome as I always was. Probably until I wake up tomorrow I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. I have also decided that when I am home for the 3 days that are required of me I will either be drinking or on a runner's high. That is the goal, maybe for the rest of the month! It really is the perfect recipe for awesome. Just stay warm, be happy with what you've got, hope for the future. I have great friends.

desire

Today I went to an animal shelter and found two of the most wonderful dogs. They were both poodle terrier mix type dogs just like my old dog Sam was. (This is a picture of Samantha)

I would have taken them home on the spot if it weren't for several important factors:

1. I can't have 2 dogs (they can't be separated)
2. I haven't moved yet
3. both of the dogs are 8 years old. I probably won't have enough expendable income for a geriatric dog for another few years
4. their names were terrible


wait, why can't I have those dogs?

I can't wait to get a dog. We will save each other. I have been wanting one since I was in college.

Dear Santa,
Elizabeth here. You read my blog, I'm sure. I've been kind of crazy this year. I have done some things I've regretted but never for the wrong reasons. I think I've done the best I could have this year. If I'm on the nice list, here is what I want:

a dog
some dog toys
a good dose of hope
some sanity
a big snow that shuts down everything for a couple days
lots of things that are unreasonable and can't be put on the blog (but you know what they are, because you read minds like Jesus and you're everywhere like a panopticon)

make it happen, Santa. I know how to make vegan cookies.

Santa, get behind me!

tonight I got my craft on and it was so therapeutic. Making lino prints is soothing and not complicated. I need to be doing that way more often. It's such a beautiful process to think up an image and draw it and carve it and eventually paint it and print it and see if the print is what your image was in your head. My artistic endeavors very rarely turn out like they are in my head except with lino prints. I want to create an entire collection of prints and make stationary and sell it. If I'm going to be starving all the time I may as well be an artist too.

I was vegan all day today. Yesterday was foiled by honey. I think I'm going to be somewhat of a lazy vegan- if I can try to hold up through most of Christmas it will be awesome. I am definitely going to eat the candy in my stocking and whatever non-meaty food my mom cooks...

Tomorrow I am going to run a new loop at lunch. I'm really excited about it. I want to sign up for a 10K that is at the end of January but I'm not sure if I can do very well in it since it's so close. Thus far I've just been running for mental health reasons but I need something else to motivate me. I really would like to run a 10K- I know I can do it but I want to do it and be proud of it.

My room has become a case of complete squalor. My level of organization almost always reflects my mental state. I am happy to report that I am moving at the end of the month to a house a couple blocks from where I currently live... so if all else fails I will have to clean up to pack.

MESSES OF RADIANT HEAT

TODAY I WAS A VEGAN ALL DAY

I THINK THAT ALL THE SHIT IN MY ROOM THAT IS ALL OVER THE FLOOR ABSORBS HEAT WHILE I WORK AT NIGHT AND THEN GIVES OFF RADIANT HEAT THROUGH THE NIGHT AFTER I CUT THE HEAT OFF. THAT IS MY EXCUSE FOR WHY I HAVE NOT CLEANED MY ROOM / PUT AWAY CLOTHES IN OVER A MONTH.

I FEEL LIKE I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO CHRISTMAS OR TO SOME KIND OF 'BREAK' BUT THERE ISN'T ONE. I AM ONLY GOING TO GO HOME FOR 3 DAYS. DAMN STRAIGHT.

TODAY I DOWNLOADED THE ROSEBUDS ALBUM BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE IT YET. I TRIED TO DOWNLOAD THE GENERATIONALS BUT CAN'T FIND THE FULL ALBUM ANYWHERE.

EVERYTHING WILL BE WORTH IT. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE GREAT. I AM GOING TO BE OK. I AM GOING TO BE OK. I AM GOING TO BE OK. I AM GOING TO BE OK.

Union Station

Every day I purposely exit the metro in Union Station so that I get to walk through the inside of Union Station. I have several reasons for doing this.

1. So that I can stay out of the cold weather for as long as possible- walking through Union Station is at least an entire block that I can preserve the feeling in my fingers, toes, and ears.
2. To see the gobs of 8th graders from all over the country making their required pilgrimage to our nation's capitol. I always know who they are by their matching brightly colored t shirts and the ridiculous cliques of hip girls, nerdy boys, fat goths, etc. They are extremely hard to walk around because they won't split up their clique pack for anything. They also have no idea about the flow of foot traffic.
3. To see the tourists in general. They are always taking pictures of the ceiling or videotaping their girlfriend and it's fun to walk by them really fast with a scowl. "Silly tourists, I work here! Get out of my way." This is also fun to do with the hordes of 8th graders.
4. Window shopping. On my path out of Union Station I pass by an Au Bon Pan (look at the bread and pastries), a Borders, a Nine West (love the shoe displays), an Origins, The Body Shop, a Swarovski crystal store (right now they have a display of crystal gorillas?) a chocolate store, and a weird cart that sells coffee. Some days I enjoy the whiff of perfume waifting from The Body Shop but some days it makes me really nauseous.
   

I am sad because at Christmas when I would come out of the train part and into the big hall there was a HUGE Christmas tree glowing. It made me so happy. There was also a model train set, a player piano, and three giant (GIANT) wreaths out front. Now all that is gone. Yesterday they took down the wreaths and were hammering and fussing to take the train apart. I come out expecting to see the Christmas tree now and since it's not there I get so disappointed.

I can't stop sneezing; I am so depressed.

So, an update that is not me whining from my blackberry. Christmas and New Years were GREAT because I didn't have to work and there were great people to hang out with at home. My mom and I had our annual Christmas party (even though it was after Christmas this year) and it was surprisingly not as awkward as usual. I think because everyone is growing up it's just ok to be who we are and catch up, high school grudges and hangups aside.

I visited some family for Christmas. My grandmother gave me the world's smallest food processor and world's smallest rice cooker (!!!!) so maybe after I read how to use the things I will be eating something other than PB&J and stir-fry. It came to my attention while I was at home that many of my comrades who are now in the working world don't cook or bring their lunch. This idea has never crossed my mind, probably because I hate eating out a lot and I'm also too cheap. It made me realize how much I hate eating out. My mom reminded me that I even hated it when I was little. I like going out with friends and on weekends and stuff.

Anyways. After lots of fights with my mom (and her sudden flight to Birmingham, AL with her boyfriend?!), quality time at my boyfriend's house playing Wii, and perusing the after Christmas sales (see, Dolla Saver), I went to Asheville with my boyfriend. We went to the J Crew CLEARANCE CENTER which is part of the J CREW DISTRIBUTION CENTER FOR THE SOUTH EAST. When I was done throwing up all over myself out of excitement I picked out a pair of earmuffs that I'd been eyeing at the regular J Crew store that were $50 but at the special clearance store they were $10!!! I also got a wool dress for $35 for those cold ass days when I am tired of wearing pants. That place is seriously awesome. Even my bf got a sweater! Probably because I made him stay in there for 2 hours.

On New Years Eve I drank gin and tonics with friends and we rang in the new year on the top of an apartment building overlooking the city. It was really nice celebrating new years without a tv.














We saw a weird new years caterpillar thing (oh Asheville).

Afterwards we went to a bar (The Z Lounge) and danced and watched the hilarious people in there.

On New Years Day we cooked collards and pork chops and hoppin' john and we slothed around all day. It was glorious. The next day me and the boyfriend and I drove down Warren Wilson Road and I stocked up on almond butter from Amazing Savings (discount gourmet grocery store that is my life-force). We ate at Burgermeisters (awesome) and drove home. I really didn't want to leave.

After that I made a trip to the Clearance Goodwill, where you can buy Goodwill items by the pound ($1.00/pound). There, sparkling and new was a Bernina Bernette 50 sewing machine in perfect working condition for $25. I packed that sucker up and hauled it to DC in my carry-on bag. The machine I was planning on bringing back was one of those old Singers that is made of solid metal. They are awesome machines because they can sew through anything (concrete, leather, moonbeams) but they weight approx. 150 lbs. So finding a nice nice lighter machine was extremely good luck. It was my Christmas present from Goodwill. I'm planning on sewing ugly/cute stuffed animals, bags, wallets, ipod holders, etc. very soon. Ideas/things to copy are welcome.

New years in Asheville was great and terrible at the same time. I realized that I really really need to move back there. ASAP. Which is still at least 2 years down the line. I am honestly sick and miserable right now to be back in DC. I feel so dumb for thinking that I would be ok living without the Western NC mountains. I am concentrating on enjoying myself while I am in DC and making a career for myself so that when I move back I can do something other than being a waitress. I also have a cold right now (round II, cool) that is making me even more miserable. It's hard to return to work- no one tells you when you're in school that you are being trained to be a cog in a giant machine that there is no way out of. Well, there are many ways out, but not if you have college loans. I guess there are my two goals: 1. build my career 2. pay off college loans. New Years Resolution 2009: pave the road back to Asheville.

haikus of the week

still sick with a cold
I hate everything ever
ready to go home

Christmas shopping time
finding cool things for people
did not get it done

online shopping click
your order will be shipped soon
the best thing ever

two more days of work
hopefully time will pass fast
I am over it

I need to get paid
rent is very expensive
cold medicine too

dishwasher is broke
what are we going to do now
wash wash wash wash wash

so close to the end
I can feel the plane leaving
Christmas don't be late

NYC weekend of awesome

Oh, oh. I don't even remember what happened last week. Friday night I skipped town and took a bus to New York City! I met up with C (who lives there) and we made preparations to have as much fun as possible over the next couple days. It's basically the most awesome thing in life that I can take a bus to NYC whenever I want for round trip $35-$40. It's a 4.5-5 hour bus ride, which is a little grueling after that 3rd hour, but man! Way worth it!

She lives in Brooklyn and I am officially and huge fan of "BK" - the non scary neighborhoods are way hip. On Saturday we went to Manhattan for some Christmas shopping. We hit up the Evolution Store, which was AWESOME - basically a standard Natural History Museum but all for sale. It was kind of weird because they have human skeletons for sale- how does that work? They had lots of seashells and rocks, freeze-dried animals, nuts, bones, way cool stuff. I found Christmas tree incense!!!

We also went to the Dwell Sample Sale because C works at Dwell!!! It was so much fun!!! The stuff there is so high end and unavailable to us (for real rich people cuteness) but since it was the sale we could actually buy stuff. I got this AWESOME weekend bag so that when I go to NYC every single weekend in the future I can use my way hip WEEKENDER. I'm pretty sure it would be the first bag stolen off the bus if a thief happened to be around when I'm traveling- but luckily I made it through the trip home. I got a lot of Christmas shopping done there which is way sweet since Christmas is 10 days away (?!!!)

C and I looked in lots of other stores and had super amounts of fun looking at all the crap that you can only get in NYC. We went to a holiday market and a farmers market that had TONS OF LOCAL APPLES for way cheaper than at the stupid Eastern Market in DC (ugh!) AND hot apple cider?!! omg. I got a huge thing of apple cider. Then we hung out with some really fat NYC squirrels. City squirrels really are the coolest because they are fatter and they are pretty tame. At that point two of the best things in life encountered each other, drinking fresh apple cider with some fatty squirrels. Way cool. We could say, "HEY SQUIRREL, HEY!" and they would come to you!!!

We met up with my homegirl L (from college) which was AMAZING because I hadn't seen her in a year! We went to a really cool Indian restaurant called Milon. It was really crazy, there are so many Christmas lights and pepper lights that you hit your head on them inside. They play crazy remixes of Indian music and if it's your birthday they have strobe lights and a special remix of happy birthday!! The food was very mild, which was kind of nice for Indian food because that way I could use all of the sauces on it without it being too spicy. I'm an official fan. Not to mention that it was super cheap. Afterwards we walked around (I had no idea where we were) and went to a bar.

Saturday was also Santacon for NYC. Santacon is a "Santa Convention" where anyone who wants to dresses up like Santa and meets somewhere and goes bar hopping all day long. Seriously, it starts at 10AM. We saw Santas EVERYWHERE. I tried and tried to find out where all the Santas were- I asked all the Santas I saw. They were all either too drunk to tell me or remember or they didn't know themselves. I even gave my phone number to a Santa to call me when he found the other Santas. Oh, Santas.

On Sunday we went to a cool "flea market" in Brooklyn which was a bunch of vintage and indie hipster vendors selling really cool crap. I miss that kind of stuff in DC; there is way more art and arty kind of stuff going on with young people in NYC. DC is very much suit-oriented, even with the young people. I love NYC with a thousand hearts but I will never trade the DC metro system for anything. We had a "fear/love" scale at my old job at Warren Wilson where you rate random things according to your fear or love of it. On my fear and love scale the NYC subway is way way way far down on fear. It is like a giant bathroom under the city, complete with bathroom tile. Holy god, I still have absolutely no clue where we were or where we went on it.

It'd be cool to have a fear/love scale for the blog. Maybe I will construct an image that will live on the side bar or something and as I blog I will add things to the fear/love scale. I miss that thing.

So all the fun wound down and I had to go to Chinatown to catch a Chinatown bus to go back to DC. Of course I hit up one of the Chinatown grocery stores because they have the most interesting stuff that you have never seen. I stocked up on Hi Chews and boarded the mean long bus back to DC. Now I have a cold and I came home from work early. This week seriously needs to speed up because Christmas vacation is SO CLOSE. I'm back to slothing on the couch watching John and Kate + 8.

Merry Christmas, walrus playing saxaphone

There is a dead pigeon in Union Station that I have seen for two days now. It's tucked in a corner. I think it probably got too cold; the highs were in the 30's for the past few days. I feel really sad about it when I see it because I know that the pigeon will end up in the trash and will never be buried in the dirt (unless I do it). At least it won't go to a landfill- all of DC's trash goes to a waste-to-energy incineration plant.

I came home from work early today because I started feeling crummy. I feel even more crummy after trying to sleep it off- I don't know what the deal is. It was great coming home during daylight, though.

My roommate E and I are going to New York City this weekend. I'm super excited, I'm going to stay with my friend C and take on the City. I'm the most excited to see NYC at Christmastime, I've always wanted to be there at this time of year- it seems so romantic and magical. I want to see the big Christmas tree and I also want to become unafraid of the NYC subway. As it stands I fear it more than any other public transportation / most things in life.

Tonight I discovered a big leak in the ceiling of the bathroom. Maybe we'll get a break in rent or something. This past weekend my roommate E's mom came to visit so we finally tried to decorate. We've put it off for EVER. I took the time to really get my room in shape and now I'm really liking it. It looks like Urban Outfitters and Ikea had a fight in here. I'm pleased. I got a really nice wool carved oriental rug at a church yard sale a while back and it looks nice in here. It reminds me of home a lot, even unconsciously because as soon as I put it down I starting throwing my clothes on it. We hung some pictures up in the living room but it's starting to look a little too grown up I think, I like more tacky and hilarious stuff. We did get a silver tinsil fiber optic Christmas tree at Target, so that helps.

I've adopted the huge Christmas tree in Union Station kind of as my Christmas tree for now. It's really big and it's decorated with US and Sweedish (?) flags. They also have a player piano next to it and every time I walk by it it's playing Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. I don't know if that's because I walk by it at the exact same time every day or if it's because the piano only plays 2 or 3 songs. One day maybe I'll wait around and investigate it.

I wish I could tell work stories on here, because that would make this blog 8000x more interesting, but I don't want to jepordize my job. Maybe if there is enough interest I can create a password protected thing. Send me a message or comment if you'd be interested.

I'll leave you with this, because it is basically the funniest thing ever: