Come down from the mountain, you have been gone too long

So, big news! I went down to Asheville last Thursday after work
("J, I'm off of work, what is the plan?" "E, do you want to leave now?" "YES" "Lets go.")

I had a job interview in Asheville for a position with the Western North Carolina Green Building Council. It was on Friday in a happy upstairs room of a house/office in West Asheville. I felt so good about it and was already dreading the feeling of being let down after being so excited about leaving my current job (which has progressively gotten worse and worse, things I have not revealed in this blog).

I returned my bff R's car to her (she was still at work) and since I didn't have anything to do but wait I offered to help her since her job was swamped that day. Her bosses immediately swooped in to meet me (very sweet) and when I told them I had just returned from a job interview they scolded R for not telling them I was looking for a job (!?) and ushered me into a hilarious conference room- shouting "get the cookies! bring the cookies!" the whole time. So I sat and ate a cookie while we had a pseudo-job interview at this law firm?!! It was really funny and so kind at the same time. I really love small town type things. I swear upon everything I know, I think that people in Western NC are NICER than most. I don't know what it is. Maybe I am nicer when I am there, too. So I had two job interviews back to back, one official and one not (but kinda?). So funny. At the end one of the ladies said, "We're ready when you are!"

I changed out of my interview suit and met up with my boyfriend for a weekend of hiking and general Western NC therapy in Pisgah National Forest. It was wonderful to smell all the mountain smells and listen to wind. Wind is really loud when you're high up in the mountains. We hiked up Black Balsam and over that ridge and back down to Flat Laurel Creek (please talk to me if you know what area I'm talking about, it's one of my favorite places of all time). We didn't actually go backpacking because we really didn't have time to. It was still so nice to relax and stare at mountains and rivers and nothing without any obligations for a while. The mountains help me to clear my head better than anything else. I can see things for what they are so much better after I consult the Blue Ridge.

So Sunday morning came and my blissful mountain time had to end. The drive back to DC was grueling as usual, though I had a lot to think about. By the time we got to Fredericksburg it was time for a snack so J and I cruised the chip isle of some gas station debating whether or not almonds were a better snack than Teddy Grahams (I hate Teddy Grahms). I got a call from an unknown number - 9:30PM on a Sunday night? It was THE GUY FROM THE GREEN BUILDING COUNCIL. I GOT THE JOB. 9:30PM ON A SUNDAY NIGHT. I am just now coming down from the cloud I was elevated to on the chip isle. Holy hell, a ticket back to Asheville doing meaningful work for people WHO WILL APPRECIATE IT. Yes yes, a thousand times yes!

Today was filled with resigning from my current job (!!! hello grownup!) and the beginning of lots of mental lists. I am moving back down to Asheville in less than 3 weeks. Dreams come true! I can't stop listening to Fleet Foxes. I am feeling good. Goodbyes are hard but I am getting better at them every time.

Gosh, I am so pleased. It makes so much more sense for me to live in Asheville. I am confidant.




Darling, I can barely remember you beside me
You should come back home, back on your own now

Memories Made in the Coldest Winter

I realize I have semi-abandoned this blog. I tend to do that when I get too busy (true) or when I get really sad (also true). I think I will just pick up this blog from current life- if I tried to brief the interwebs about the past two months it would be too much. Instead, I will leave you with a sort of photoblog of my absence and I will just start writing from the here and now. yaaaaay.






This past weekend my buddy A came up from Raleigh to visit! It was perfect timing because I've been super down and sad about the weather, job issues, homesickness for my boyfriend / western NC, etc. Winter is way harder than I ever expected- I've always enjoyed winter a lot. When Spring didn't suddenly appear at the end of February I was really thrown off. I'm spoiled.


So A and I went to the Library of Congress with her boyfriend F (both of them are getting their degrees in Library Science). That was pretty cool- but not as cool as the BABY GORILLA we saw at the National Zoo (!!!!!!!!!!) We also saw sleeping otters. And a cute otter statue. And PANDAS. and RED PANDAS. PANDAS!!!


We spent a lot of time in Adam's Morgan- so of course we went to Amsterdam Falafel- the most awesome food EVER. You get a pita with falafels in it that they FRY TO ORDER and then you get to put all the toppings you want on it. Oh man, I could eat that every day. It's also cheap and they have really good fries.

We walked a lot over the weekend- it makes my feet tired but it makes my legs feel good. It was so warm over the weekend and for most of today- my mood has improved a lot. Feeling a breeze on my legs is enough to change my outlook on life, if only for a little while. The entire city smells different when it warms up, maybe it's the daffodils or maybe it's the fact that I can actually smell things and my nose isn't running constantly. I cry and whine about winter in DC, I know it's nothing that bad- but we did have 8 inches of snow a week ago and I didn't have any delays in work or anything. I think that validates my crying and whining at least a little bit.

Work has been strange lately. I'm not going to say much on this most public of all venues- but I feel it must be known on my blog that the real world is not "glamorous" at all. The only glamorous part is not having homework and getting a paycheck. Realizing this and accepting it can be very difficult, and can raise many more questions and decisions to be made. I am constantly searching for happiness and ways to fake my own happiness.

Here is my current list of fake happiness (temporary happiness that fools you into short term happiness):
exercising
reeses (easter egg reeses are especially good)
hair mousse
alcohol
sunshine
surfing petfinder.com
calculating airfares
google image searching sealions or groundhogs

I can go on. I am trying to get happy- re-starting this blog is a sign of that. Spring is sure to help out: new opportunities, lots of friends to see- there is always something to be done or someone to visit. I predict some great changes coming. I am joining a kickball league. Hibernation is over!

Rainbows and Moonbeams

Oh yeah!!! I basically got a job offer today through a voicemail (?) but that's ok with me! I still have to give them my references but OH YEAH!!! Success!

Also WHAT'S UP DEMOCRATS!!! BARACK IS THE MESSIAH!! HE WILL SAVE US ALL!!! I was pretty sure that when he opened his mouth tonight at the DNC rainbows and moonbeams were going to come out but instead it was RAINBOWS AND MOONBEAMS OF HOPE?! I sure hope he can deliver because there are a lot of people who really believe that the man is going to save us all, myself included. So I guess I'm a member of the church of Barack. Let us pray.

I'm back in South Carolina. I'll try to post more now that things are actually happening.

lametown

Job search blues, today for the first time in a long time.  Why is it so hard?  Why do I feel so bad?  It's like being in gym class and not getting picked for either team, all summer. 

So lame.  I feel like an extreme loser.  I'm running out of patience.

Great Northeast Adventure GO!

So I've been adventuring.  It goes like this:

• July 29 (?) started driving to Maine (from South Carolina) for vacation with boyfriend's family.
  
• Stopped in Baltimore and walked the streets (go get your Gram Parsons)
  
• Stopped in Providence and ate at La Creperie with C
  
• Got to Maine

-Farming adventures- harvesting wax beans and lettuce on an organic farm

-Sailing

-Lobster races a la Annie Hall but not as annoying (that movie is weird)

-Hiking at the Holbrook Island Sanctuary

-Discount shopping at Reny's and Marden's

-Endless Flight of the Concords listening

-Being mistaken for townies (only the bf and me) in Portland, ME

-General family cheerleader activities because I'm not actually related

More stories later on that, maybe.  It was really cold and rainy the whole time and I LOVED it.  Being cold.. in August.  It's so magical.  (cue the song "Carolina Girls")

Now I'm in Providence, Rhode Island chilling with C in her apartment.  When my boyfriend's family was driving back to South Carolina I just thought... why on earth would I want to go back there.  Especially right now, when the highs have been in the 100's.  So I just stayed in Providence and watched them leave.  I was only going to stay for a week but I have no real obligations- so I'm going to stay until the end of August and help C move out and drive down to South Carolina.  We're going to have a yard sale on Saturday.  She knits a lot and we cook together.  We got an amazing deal at Jcrew the other day (2 dresses and a skirt for $22? Jcrew?!  did you know they have a 15% student discount?)  We picked a lot of blueberries.  She took me to Ikea!!!!!  Super adventures GO!

Yesterday I went to Boston to meet up with some college friends.  We had so much fun going to the Garment District, walking around Harvard, discussing all the medical study opportunities available in the Boston area, eating in China Town at the best vegetarian restaurant EVER (that had these blended fruit and coconut milk smoothie things), riding the T, finding the perfect iced coffee, just everything.  I have lots of pictures but I didn't bring my camera cord, I'll have to ask C for one.  Seeing all these people (and getting the hell out of South Carolina) has made me feel so much better in general.  I'm still keeping up with the job search and applying and interviewing-- but getting out and doing different things is so nice.  We're going to meet up again next week and try to add more Warren Wilson friends to the mix.  

Today on my way back to Providence I was waiting for the T and I got mistaken for a townie AGAIN.  Way to go me!!!

Another main reason I've been feeling so bad lately at home in South Carolina has been the inadequacy I feel about not having a steady job, not getting a job, all the rejection letters, missing college, etc.  It is such a lonely business to not have a car and be stuck in a town when you had so many dreams about post-collegiate life.  Seeing old friends my age in the EXACT SAME SITUATION having the EXACT SAME conversations about the job search, interviews, waiting for calls and emails- it has made me feel not quite so alone.  It is much better to go through this with other people going through it too.  It's hard to remember that I'm not alone when I'm so removed from so many people I love.

I also started a new project for this blog.  I am always excited when I see how other places recycle- what kind of cans they use, how they label their containers, etc.  I've started taking pictures of all the different ones I've seen in my travels and hopefully I'll get to post them to have a kind of collection for the "trashlady."  Not that anyone would be interested in how other cities and schools recycle- it's just cool seeing it in action.  You can see most of the containers people use in catalogues but for me it is also a documentation of where I've been traveling.  So... soon you can look at recycling containers.

death and rejection

I know it's been a while since I wrote. I had some serious internet paranoia about employers "finding me" on the internet so I worked for a couple days to try to keep my online presence down to a minimum. Let it be known, young bloggers, don't ever use your full name on ANYTHING unless you want it to be found by the pope, your grandma, your novio/novias mom, or the people that you want to HIRE YOU IN THE FUTURE. I have been so naive.

Yesterday I went to the funeral for my great-aunt in Walterboro, South Carolina. I felt really sad for my grandmother because she was so sad that her sister died. It must be such a terrible feeling to watch your family die and know that you're next and not far off. She's about to be 89, so I'm not sure if she even realizes these things or not (a little dementia can be a good thing). The service was at a Baptist church and was really bizarre, not exactly what I'm used to in term of religion. Like any event involving ritual or rites of passage, I had my anthropology goggles on. In this service, it was run clearly by men. Three male preachers or pastors or whatever they were led the pal bearers in a processional inside the church. The three head guys then ran the service, which involved no interaction from the guests (congregation)- except for that optional "amen" at the end of certain prayers. The only singing was done by one soloist man who was in the front, too. I wanna know where the women at? Just not my cup of tea. But- my great aunt's religion did help her a lot in her life and especially when she was sick in the hospital.

You really have to credit religion for serving its purpose sometimes. One thing about anthropology goggles and religion is that it can turn you into an atheist really fast- though I'm not. I still believe but I also understand what the function of religions ARE and how they can change over time to suit the spiritual needs of a culture (not much sacrifice going on in the US anymore, is there? There are reasons for this kind of cultural change).

So anyway. I didn't get one of the jobs that I really really wanted. When that happened it was the first time I have cried during this whole process. It's just so disappointing to be rejected and not know why- it really does make you feel like you're damaged goods or that there is something wrong with you or that you're doing something wrong with the process. Even worse, to not get an answer one way or another from the potential employer by the date they said they would get back to you. I practically spammed this lady to get an answer out of her- and let it be known that if an employer doesn't get back to you quickly / on time, chances are you didn't catch that bus to employment town. They will stay in close touch with those that they want and a lot of times just "forget" about the no-gos. It seems like employers just like to avoid that whole "I'm just not that into you" message so they just don't say anything at all. How hard is it to send an email or call a person and just say- hey, you're great but we're looking for something else. I am trying to stay positive. I got an encouraging phone message about another job- I'm on the "short list." The politics with this stuff are incredible.

So I am alive, happy internet. I'm still dealing with internet paranoia but I think I have it under control now.

lies

so I guess what they meant by "we'll get back to you by the end of next week" was "we'll get back to you maybe at the beginning of the week after that" or "we'll get back to you whenever we feel like it and just tell you lies."

ps- I wrote a really long post yesterday about ageism toward young applicants but I removed it because it slams a recent interview I had. Internet paranoia is real.

taco extravaganza, cops in Russia, computer sadness

So a couple nights ago the boyfriend and I were watching some late night TV when we came across COPS in Russia. This is kind of like regular COPS except that the cops in Russia are police officers terrorizing the people of Moscow in 1989. So weird. It's not even on imdb.

I got a job offer. I'm not going to take it, though. I don't think it would cut the mustard, especially in the college-loan-payback department. Moving to Chicago to sort recyclables would be cool, for about a week. The people with the organization are really nice though, especially the guy I talked to. He said he'd keep me in mind for future positions. Sheesh. I'm still waiting on a lot of other jobs. I have another interview tomorrow with a job that could be really cool- so things are not completely stagnant. I'm supposed to hear back about a job by the end of this week, too.

Last night the boyfriend (who hates being referred to as "the boyfriend"- I guess I can say "my boyfriend" now) and I went to The Whig, an underground (literally) bar in Columbia, SC. They have $.50 tacos every Tuesday night so we try to go every now and then. Last night we were the last people to order tacos so they gave us ALL the tacos that they had made so that they wouldn't be throwing them away. Taco extravaganza! The Whig is the only bar I've been to in Columbia that I really feel ok going to. All my other experiences usually have involved that nasty sorority girl look-over and frat boy check-out. Ugh, that shit makes me feel like such a fish out of water. I'm so unaccustomed to it having lived in Asheville for the past four years that when I am confronted with it I feel really uncomfortable. My boyfriend was saying that someone referred to The Whig as "that bar where all the guys with beards go." Sure enough, thank God for The Whig.

Yesterday I spent at least 2-3 hours trying to hook up my computer to my mom's cable internet. I have tried everything on my own, re-setting configurations, fiddling with the modem and the ethernet cord, all that crap. I called Time Warner and a girl there walked me through some stuff and proceeded to tell me that the problem was with the configuration (NO DUH) and that it was outside of her troubleshooting area and that I would have to call Dell. So I call Dell and talk to a couple people in India. One nice man walked me through a lot of different things, none of which worked. He then concluded that the problem was either with my ISP (Time Warner) or I just needed to backup all my crap and re-install Windows. Um... is this really that big of a deal? Can anyone out there please help me? It's getting so ridiculous! My computer could connect to all the different connections I had at school. So frustrating.

interviews, peaches, parades and Jesus

The job hunt is kind of like babysitting. You have to constantly check the kids and make sure they heard you over and over until eventually they are the ones calling YOU. Finally, I'm getting calls instead of emails. I had another interview last week that (I thought) went well. I'm supposed to hear back from them next week. I also got called for an interview with another position next week(!!!) Things are happening! Of course, just like the last time things got "rolling" with this process, I'm starting to FREAK OUT about how big this first job is/could be.

In other news: my mom decided this year we really had to go to the Lexington County Peach Festival in Gilbert, SC for the 4th of July. I'm always up for a parade (I am my mother's daughter, after all) so we trekked out to the 'pit' of South Carolina for this classy celebration. The parade piqued my "anthropology goggles" in that all parades, especially small town home grown county-sponsored ones, are representations of a culture as the "officials" would want the culture to be portrayed as. It's a socialization mechanism to reinforce certain cultural values- putting the values on display as "correct" and "celebrated." For the Peach Parade I saw today, I noticed a few things.

In addition to the overwhelming Christian / Baptist presence (a camel with a banner tied to it that read "Come see me at the Christmas Pageant at ___ Baptist Church!" While the girl leading it fed it Mountain Dew. She'd open a bottle, hold it up to the camel's mouth and the camel would take it and tilt it's head back and drink the whole thing. I think that camel probably drank 15 Mountain Dew's today. It's probably dead.) The main representation of women were as beauty pageant winners. All of these women were young, beautiful, many of them teenagers and children, adorned with crowns, gowns, and titles like "Little Miss Peach Queen," "Miss SC Poultry" and some kind of title about "Miss Tiny-Tot." Of course, there were girls in the marching band, some women in the senior center float, the red-had ladies, etc, but by far the most women were in the parade as beauty queens. The one young woman who was not the standard southern blonde skinny type was instantly ridiculed by the audience near where I was standing- they obviously already knew what an ideal young woman should look like- and she didn't cut it: (by rejecting what they saw in offhand comments, they affirm their cultural capital in the community).

The men in the parade, however, were present driving all the vehicles for the parade (all of them), all the tractors (at least 10), all of the politicians campaigning were men (with the exception of one), all of the veterans present were men, etc. Occasionally, a wife would stand behind her husband as he drove the tractor, and with the politicians the families of the politicians would be in the vehicle with them. There were some girls on the FFA float, which I was glad to see, but for the most part the parade had very clear gender boundaries- the most clear of which was that women do not drive tractors, they are queens! My mom grumbled that this was a "masculine parade!" and that she wanted to go to a gay parade next instead. I'll go with you, mom. Parades really are a cultural anthropology pool party. Seriously.

Getting up close and personal with deep southern culture makes me just laugh and laugh. If I don't laugh at it and label it I just get mad. I get mad anyway. One float for the Woodmen of the World had a large banner that proclaimed: "The Woodmen of the World support our Arm Forces." Sweet Jesus. But Jesus really was there with us today. As we were walking back to the car in the 95 degree heat we were becoming very thirsty. Right as one of us mentioned that we wanted something to drink this woman appeared and asked us, "would you like some ice cold bottled water? It's free" of course we accepted and thanked her a lot. We looked across the street and saw Jesus himself smiling at us from the Gilbert Baptist Church. What a day!

%&#^@(!

OK. Holy !*%&#

I got a call this morning from someone working for a company called The Resource Center. I thought it was the followup call from the interview I had on Friday from an organization called The Resource Center. So I returned the call just now only to find that this was A DIFFERENT COMPANY and I was on the phone with someone wanting to go through all the "preliminary phone interview" stuff for a job/company that I had NO IDEA WHAT WAS. Cool. So of course I sounded like an idiot because the jobs I've been applying to fall into two categories: recycling and not recycling- and I didn't know what on earth this thing was. One of my saving graces, I guess, was that their job posting didn't say much about them anyways.

UGH I JUST HATE SOUNDING LIKE AN IDIOT. For all you who think that naming your company "The Resource Center" would be great- get a little more creative, I beg you.

I just want a meaningful job.

I'm feeling really down today. I got two rejection emails today from really cool jobs. There have been no new jobs (I liked) to apply to in 5 days. These things are just an equation for self-doubt and frustration. The interview I had on Friday went well and they are going to call back sometime this week for another. I've got another interview for a different job on Wednesday of this week to look forward to, so at least the week isn't blank. ...But ugh, now is when I really wonder why I didn't forgo the fun in college and go to a free in-state school and major in computer science or programming or something. Man, feeling like crap really makes you loose faith.

On Saturday the boyfriend and I went to the flea market (didn't find anything) and to Pets Incorporated, a no-kill animal shelter in West Columbia. That is the shelter I used to volunteer with when I was in high school and it's the shelter where the boyfriend got his dogs. They re-did their whole setup and it's really nice now. When I use GoodSearch I always use Pets Inc as the organization to give to.

So Saturday night my friend WB had an Arrested Development themed birthday party. It's the first "real" party I've been to since I came home- maybe even the first "real" party I've ever been to in this city. I tried to dress up as Rita, Michael's girlfriend that has the brain of a 4 year old. I had a great time hanging out with old friends. They even had chocolate banana shots (which I didn't really like) but it was a great idea (if you've ever seen the show).

Good news on the job front! An interview AND an email expressing interest! Things are looking up!

I've spent a lot of the past few days putting together a short essay, a critique of a website, and a marketing plan for a site as part of the application for a fellowship position with that site. It really makes me wonder exactly how many applicants for that position got the follow-up email asking for those materials. It sure would be an easy way to get a lot of really good feedback and ideas for your company, to put applicants through a process like that. Lots of companies pay a lot of money for detailed feedback. Clever! I hope that my efforts won't be for not. It sure is a lot easier to write essays and do tedious MS Word projects when you don't have to go to school everyday.

The last time I applied for a job and was asked to write an essay to be considered for the "next round" I submitted my essay (during the middle of exams while I was still in college) and never heard back from the company. Maybe one day when I am feeling especially heartless I'll publish the company who did that on this blog. For now, though, I'm sure there was some kind of "internet glitch" that prevented me from getting that "sorry, we're just not that into you" email. Yeah. Internet glitch. Jerks. It took them over 3 months just to review the resumes.

When hanging out with my friend C yesterday we talked about how we used to code our own websites and blogs and basically own the internet. We both knew enough about html and style sheets, etc that we could make pretty nice looking websites. Well, she was telling me that she was trying to edit the template of the code for a new blog and that she didn't understand what much of it meant. This is exactly what has happened to me, too! It's so insane that in the past 5-6 years all the coding for the internet has changed so much. I mean, I guess it's not insane, but there are so many new programming languages that we decided it really wasn't feasible to teach them to yourself, as we had done in high school. Kind of disappointing. I considered going to school for web programming- but always thought I could just teach myself anything I really wanted to know. Haha... WRONG. Here I am on blogger with a regular, standard template. Oh well. I guess I could use my old skillz to make a site if I really wanted to. Though they were very simple, they worked.

I just baked a batch of Brownies using the Moosewood Cookbook recipe. The Moosewood Cookbook is seriously my favorite cookbook ever. I could live fine forever with just that one cookbook.

lucky to be me and not aliens

The topic of "jobs" continues. I'm currently reading Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America by Barbara Ehrenreich. It is absolutely captivating; she quit her regular writing job and began to try to live as a person entering the workforce after being on welfare. She discusses the trials of finding cheap, safe housing, finding jobs and keeping those jobs, how hard the work is, etc. One of her main objectives seems to be to prove if it is possible to make ends meet working minimum wage jobs and living as cheaply as possible. The chapter about maids is truly alarming. Did you know that many of those maid companies, Merry Maids etc, don't actually clean anything on a microbiological level? Purely surface and visible cleaning is done. This book is really worth reading, if you're ready for a swift sociological kick in the ass. The people she talks about working with and the ridiculous practices and questions they are subjected to will open your eyes to the working poor right here in the United States. God, how lucky I am to be born into this life.

I think when I refer to books and things of that nature in this blog I will link to half.com instead of the usual amazon.com link. Half.com allows you to choose to buy a book from someone who is selling it independently (how I paid for pizza and other stupid expenses in college) and recycling it rather than getting a new book from Amazon (I know you can buy used from Amazon, it's just way cheaper on half).

I'm finally starting to see some results from my hard job searching and applying, if only little whispers of hope. An application status change here, an email wanting more information (essays, etc) there. These little notifications are far better than a denial or nothing at all. Did I mention that I applied to be a garbage truck dispatcher and was rejected?

In more interesting and entertaining news, because of my privileged background, education, and income I babysat for a friend today and the kid and I went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I've never watched Indiana Jones movies before, I guess Star Wars was enough Lucas/Spielberg for me in my childhood. Harrison Ford is still dreamy when he isn't Han Solo, even when he's 6o something years old... ESPECIALLY when he is an archaeologist. (spoilers, now): One of the main parts of the movie rested on the Mayan drawings of people with elongated heads. It is true that these people molded their heads to look longer but it wasn't because they were worshiping aliens. It was because they may have been worshiping corn, mas o menos. It's almost too bad that this Indiana Jones movie turned into something from Contact at the end. Also, why was there no explanation for the random "natives" that guarded the old temples and "important" ancient places? Boogy men guards at Machu Picchu? What's with that? Still entertaining, even if the movie probably taught thousands of people that several ancient Latin American cultures were governed by aliens. Also, the plot to begin with is still Team America: Fuck Yeah! what with the cute archaeologist trying to save himself as well as the fate of the world from those mean Commie Russians trying to brainwash everybody... What?! I guess I'm complaining a lot for a movie I did like- there were just some really strange plot points that maybe seemed like someone was on crack among the writers.

**Edit: after consulting the boyfriend it seems like all the Indiana Jones movies are on crack like this. My bad. This was my first one.

The best part of all that was the drive home. I talked to the 9 year old little guy I was babysitting about the Mayan ball game and he talked to me about the Native American stick ball game.

me: So the Mayans had this game kind of like basketball where they had a court and a ball and a hoop and they would play to the death sometimes.
kid: was there hundreds of them?
me: well I don't know. No one really knows exactly how they played it...
kid: THAT'S JUST LIKE THE NATIVE AMERICANS AND THEIR GAME THEY PLAYED TO THE DEATH TOO!
me: well theirs was more like lacrosse...

post college anguish

"Don't go to college! Look, if you don't know something, Google it!" -SNL

Advice seems to come from all angles when you're fixated on one topic. I tend to have "Life Topics" and "Daily Themes." I haven't had a Daily Theme in a while- but the Life Topic right now is very clear: JOBS.

Since graduating from college with a BA in Anthropology/Sociology I've been feeling a lot like Buster from Arrested Development. Buster is Michael's younger brother that is constantly in school and getting degrees in things that are useless. Examples given on the show include Archeology, Cartography, and doing studies to see how long people can be awake. Although he is very highly educated, he is portrayed in the show as being generally useless and childlike with no actual life skills.

Like Buster, my life seems to be seriously lacking right now. I've been surfing every job site on the internet every day for at least 2-3 hours if not more. I know every recycling-related job available in the country that has been advertised online. When I find a job that could be meaningful work for me, I apply and wait. It is so frustrating to put so much effort into the application process and rarely if ever hear back from employers. I had no idea how rude and fickle employers could be and ARE. No one tells you that at the career counselor's office. And I certainly don't have head-hunters beating down my door, cute Warren Wilson. Some days I do regret my major, but like I told a friend the other day, if I had majored in Environmental Science or something like that I would have been sad, confused, and my GPA would be too.

I think a lot of this anguish I have has a lot to do with the cultural requirement for some families to send their children to college before their children know what they want to do. The private college-prep high school I went to herded us all to college with a feverish enthusiasm to boost their own credentials while many of us were left bewildered- though we understood that this was the "correct" step after high school. I do understand that many people do discover what they like to do once they are in college and I also understand college for the sake of college. I just wonder how different things would have been had I taken that year off after High School. Would I be in my house eating Honey Bunches of Oats out of the box writing a blog about how grouchy I am that I'm still in South Carolina? I'm pretty sure I know what I want to do now (cute Warren Wilson!) but the frustration at some of my peers already getting to start their post-college lives makes me scared and jealous.

To add to this Life Topic, the unemployment rate hit 5.5% this week, the highest it's been since 1986 (the year I was born). Thanks guys! Thank you, George.

So to assuage my sour mood and maybe spark some interest in someone else, here is One Day One Job, a cool college grad site that has some pretty good articles about finding a job, using RSS feeds to help your search (I use bloglines), and other stuff.