hope for a destination

I'm anxious and scared to turn 25.  Does this mean the early 20's are over?  What exactly does this mean?  I've never NOT been amped for a birthday.  Why is there dread here?

My anxiety about my birthday party (which basically isn't going to happen) spilled into more of the "oh shit, what am I doing with my life" category.  My solution is to fuck this shit and get a dog.  Which is no solution.  But it would be really, really awesome.  That, or going on a crazy adventure as far away from here as possible.

I feel really stagnent... or like an eddy in a river, just swirling back on itself and holding onto things.

Things have got to get to the next level for me to feel ok about anything.

take note at :35