kids

Summer is halfway through, amazing! I really dislike summer, for the most part. South Carolina ruined it for me, I guess.

Asheville living is going really well. I went to DC for the 4th of July and to Beaufort SC last weekend for my grandma's 85th birthday. Both adventures went well.

I'm shopping to buy a car and it sucks. I really want the Honda Civic Hybrid but they are kind of hard to find. So I'm settling for just a regular Honda Civic. Trying to buy a car without a car to shop for cars is really hard. I've already had several bad encounters with dealership jackasses and I would like to refrain from doing that until the end of time. I can't believe how people will lie to you and put on such a performance and expect you to fall for it and give them big amounts of money. Please. Bitch, please.

So, sometimes I have daily themes, and yesterday had a really clear one: CHILDREN. A friend of a friend who I know distantly gave birth yesterday to a little girl. The mom is my age, married, other than that the same song and dance for the most part- I can't stop thinking about it though. It's the first person I've known that was my age to have a baby. I think it's so flabbergasting to me because it's a really real wakeup call to the fact that I am a GROWNUP. I mean, not really, but you know. That could be me. I'm not ready for that type of grownup activity yet- but god. It is so magic and scary and beautiful. I wonder if I'll ever be ready for that.

To cap off all those thoughts I babysat last night for the first time in a long time- 2 boys, 3 years old and 6 years old. I guess it's my selfish 20's narcissism but how on earth do people do that?! Parenting is so hard- it must be rewarding enough, I understand the romantic aspects of having a family but the day-to-day is really hard. I'm sure all these questions and observations are just signs that I am absolutely not ready for any of this, though I know I could do it if I really had to.

When I ride the bus to work in the morning I've been recognizing faces that are on the ride. There is one family, usually just the mom and the two little kids (boy and girl, both under 5, the mom is my age). The kids are always chirping and whirring and eating some part of their breakfast (one morning it was a bag of potato chips!) while their mom tries to keep them from being too loud. This morning the dad was there too and they were arguing all the way to the daycare stop. How do any of us survive our families? How does anyone make it out halfway decent? I know some families are much easier to grow up with than others- even still, everyone has their problems. You must be really idealistic and in love to even consider having a family with anyone- I hope I am that way someday.

I'll just end this post with this