trashlady

disease and detriment

2011-12-01T20:30:00.001-05:00

3 weeks ago I got a headache that got worse, and worse, and worse. It went on for days and by the time I dragged my sloppy ass to the urgent care I couldn't sleep anymore because it hurt so much. I thought it was a sinus infection (fantasies of stabbing forks through my skull usually lead me to this conclusion) but the doc looked in my throat and proclaimed that he could "smell the strep." Right. I've never had strep. My throat didn't even hurt that bad. I failed the strep test, too. He sent me away with prescriptions for antibiotics, steroids, and vicodin, just to make sure to kill off everything in my body. I was excited to start feeling better but underestimated how hard going to Wal-Mart to get the prescriptions filled would be.

It occurred to me while I was sweating with a fever in the dairy section listening to Christmas carols and endlessly looping commercials about Thanksgiving feasts that I hadn't eaten in several days and I really might pass out right there in front of the chocolate pudding I was staring at. Hallucinating in Wal-Mart is terrifying. I grabbed a cliff bar and sat on the bench near the pharmacy and ate a bite and prayed that I wouldn't pass out and fall on the linoleum floor. (I have an irrational fear of linoleum floors).

I made it and came home and looked at my throat and saw was the doc saw. ZOMBIE DEATH THROAT.

A week later, antibiotics almost all gone, my throat was looking just as bad as had when I first went in. I hadn't really gotten out of bed for the entire week, either. You know when you're sick and you hit that wall where you're like, "Screw this! I'm bored. I'm tired of being in bed. Time for other things!" and you move to small activities and then to bigger ones and then you're all functioning again? It had been 7 days and I still was content to sleep almost all day and night and watch episodes of Bored to Death and take vicodin. I went back to the urgent care. They did a mono-spot test and I HAVE MONO.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WORLD? I HAVE MONONUCLEOSIS.

I spent Thanksgiving alone and in bed. It was pathetic but I was not having any of "driving for 3 hours to eat lots of food and potentially getting mom sick" or my mom driving here just to eat food with me. You see, mono has this way of making you forget about food. Even on Thanksgiving.

Since then I have been laying in bed. I'm on a new course of steroids that is pretty sweet except for the side effects, which I haven't noticed (other than the insomnia which is listed as a long-term side effect, HA) but are worth a read:

Elevated pressure in the eyes (glaucoma)
Fluid retention, causing swelling in your lower legs
Increased blood pressure
Mood swings
Weight gain, with fat deposits in your abdomen, face and the back of your neck

OH RIGHT, FAT DEPOSITS ON THE BACK OF MY NECK AND ALSO ON MY FACE. As if the attractive golfball sized swollen lymph node on my left jaw isn't enough. Anyway, I'll be done taking those tomorrow- they have helped a lot with that whole zombie death throat thing. Hopefully zombie death throat will not return.

Here are things I've learned from having mono:

pets are amazing at making you NOT feel like you are a worthless sack of shit. If you have to take care of one, you have a purpose and you don't question God constantly on why you exist in the first place if you are feeling like this. Pippa is a hilarious companion and she is my best friend.
orange juice: seems like a great idea. IT'S NOT. The zombie throat of death prohibits the citrus.
ice cream: FANTASTIC IDEA.
having mono over a major holiday was kind of cool for being so sucky. The handouts were great: I sampled 3 different Thanksgivings and realized I love sweet potatoes, pumpkin related items, brussel sprouts, TURKEY, and other things a lot more than I thought. I should eat these things more.
antiseptic throat spray rules
my sick uniform here at chez eliz: black leggings, deep v tee shirt (helps with fevers, you can cool down way faster), long sleeve over that, and uggs and a vest to take Pippa out. It goes from day, to night, to day, to night, to day, to night, to day, to night..... here at the hipster hospital ward
emotional breakdowns, whether because of hormone induced craziness from steroids or from sufjan stevens or from the fact that you haven't talked to a human face to face in 4 days, can almost always be cured by a dumb movie, eating something, or having a conversation with your dog.

I've had the mild urge to spread mono to other people who live in my building using biowarfare tactics (licking door knobs, etc) to get even with their noisy obnoxious behavior. I also like thinking of myself as a phoenix that is dying slowly only to reemerge out of my memory foam mattress as Elizabeth 2.0 who will conquer the planet in the following ways:

wearing bright lip stick
making new friends
styling my hair
trying harder to look like Zooey Deschanel
cooking things other than stir fry
drinking heavily and reveling in my 20's before I get washed up
moving somewhere temporarily with my mobile job and seeing what happens.

being sad on the internet

2011-08-09T22:58:00.000-04:00

The grief I hold for my friend Hana is a fixture now. I no longer think about her intensely every day, though there is usually at least one big sigh for her about every 48 hours. Mostly I glaze up now, numb to her pictures and to the experience of burying her in June. Numb about her death. I hear her pretty often, though, and have put her on some kind of pedestal like people who wear WWJD bracelets do with Jesus. I think "What would Hana do? Would Hana have liked this? Yes. or No, definitely not." I have ridden waves of happiness and afterward felt guilt- but solace in knowing she would want me to be happy (right? Hana, yes or no?) It's hard.

I wore her clothes for a couple days but her smell was overwhelming. I stopped. Sometimes I take them out and smell them and wonder how long it will take for them to have my smell. I think about suicide and being sad a lot. I am sensitive to people generalizing depression and suicide. I am sensitive to any kind of talk about it at all. In the same way I am sensitive, I think I am becoming callous. I feel like I am privileged because I have discovered what this kind of sadness is but at the same time I hate myself for feeling that way. I want to stop feeling wounded. I wish I never knew what this feels like.

I bluntly explain to new friends that "oh yes, that is my friend Hana. She killed herself in May." I gauge their reactions and judge them harshly. The more questions they ask, the more I like them. The more they admit to not knowing, the more I appreciate them. Only close friends and I still mention her and usually it's me. Friends who knew her through me do not talk about her. She is a ghost now. She is whoever I want her to be to me. I hate it. I sincerely hope she is a ghost. I want ghosts to exist so badly; I want to be watched by her.

There are certain turns I take when I'm driving and if a certain song is playing and if it's in the evening my eyes will well up and I will miss Hana uncontrollably. My face feels confused that I can't just call her or go home and send her a message. My brain feels cold and I feel like a child. I have only recently started listening to music again. I listen to songs with a different ear, just like I did when I was heartbroken over other things.

And I see losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody feels the wind blow

I feel justified in drifting and being lazy about my goals. I wonder if it is possible for people to love me the way that I am right now. I wonder if I should be in therapy even though I would not go. Summer makes me feel so out of control, like all the molecules being so much further apart and creating so much heat is making me claustrophobic and uncontrollable. I can't wait for cool weather so I can constrict everything under sleeves and blankets and shut windows.

There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I'm falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Oh, so this is what she means

hope for a destination

2011-04-14T01:52:00.001-04:00

I'm anxious and scared to turn 25. Does this mean the early 20's are over? What exactly does this mean? I've never NOT been amped for a birthday. Why is there dread here?

My anxiety about my birthday party (which basically isn't going to happen) spilled into more of the "oh shit, what am I doing with my life" category. My solution is to fuck this shit and get a dog. Which is no solution. But it would be really, really awesome. That, or going on a crazy adventure as far away from here as possible.

I feel really stagnent... or like an eddy in a river, just swirling back on itself and holding onto things.

Things have got to get to the next level for me to feel ok about anything.

take note at :35

news from the road: childhood fears claim the night

2011-02-17T03:08:00.002-05:00

I am currently on a Megabus going to DC. I got a bunch of free tickets because they had a special where they were just giving them away (??!) so I decided to take a poor woman's vacation.

Anyway, things were going so well. I hung out with friends in Charlotte, caught the bus, discovered the internet worked, was getting some sleep (it's the red eye) when "splat splat" - some guy two seats back from me threw up in the isle. The sound is unmistakable, even without retching.

This prompted an interesting response. Two ladies sitting near me really flipped out, "Oh heeeell no, hell no!!!" and the unfortunate man who was sitting next to the sick man said "aaaaaaay!!!! stop the bus! this man is throwin' up!" Seconds later the alternate driver turned the lights on and assessed the situation. They pulled the bus over and he told the sick guy to go outside and handed him a trash bag, the whole time the women were squawking about how gross, the smell, oh hell no, etc. The sick man stood right outside the door and said "hey man, where does this bus go?" and the alternate driver said "we're going to DC" and then the sick guy said "oh yeah I'm on that bus! where does it go?" "to DC!" "Hey man don't kick me off the bus man."

So with the women still squawking the sick guy comes back on, holding a bright orange trash bag with rolled down edges. He tries to calm everyone down and says "I'm ok, I'm ok, don't kick me off the bus" and as he's saying this he weaves into a pair of seats and obviously is losing his balance. More "Oh HELL NO!! OH HELL NOOOO"'s. He sits and the alternate bus driver turns the light off, puke still all over the isle and a faint acrid smell wafting around. The ladies protest and say "Is someone going to clean that up? I smell it!! I smell it!" The sick guy says, "you can smell this?" and the lady behind me says "yes, it makes me nauseous." Here here. The Asian man across from me with long fingers says "can we put something over that?" The bus driver walks around, finds some paper towels and a roll of toilet paper and I think he put a few sheets on the mess, handing off the rest of the paper products to our resident life-ruiner of the night. Sick man says he will clean it up. The woman across from me is chattering wildly in French to someone on the phone, obviously about what is going on on the bus. Woman behind me demands the smell be covered up, someone sprays cologne directly on the floor.

The driver turns the lights off and we start to go again. Everyone starts to calm down and shut their eyes. Then we all hear the "splat splat" again. "OH HELLLLLLL NO!!!! GET THE FUCK OFF THIS BUS!!" The alternate bus driver, after a long pause of thinking about what to do, says loudly, "Man you throwing up again?" "I'm ok." "Man use the BAG!" The ladies are really mad now. I look over and see that the Asian man with long fingers now has a face mask on (like the kind people wore during the swine flu scare). They realized, like the rest of us, that it is up to us to contain this person because Megabus apparently has no protocol for sick people and what to do. The lady behind me tells the sick man, "go to the back, go sit away from us" she even tells him to sit in the empty seats in front of me, which makes me immediately hate her. She tells him to go to the back and sit near the bathroom, that way when he is sick he can throw up in there. A beautiful idea. The sad sick man takes his orange bag and goes to the back, he has not returned. The woman who speaks French turned her light on and started talking to no one in particular, "I don't even care because this bus ride is FREE. I'm getting a refund! In my country, you can't do that!!!" I'd like to know what she means. She also demanded a "breathalyzer, or something in here, that SMELL!"

This whole thing brings to light one of my deepest fears I have harbored since childhood. I don't know where this came from, I'm pretty sure it was one traumatic experience that I have blocked out- but I have a horrible fear of people throwing up on buses. Riding the bus in elementary school taught me to keep my feet on the seat, almost at all times, because if someone pukes, it will roll all around the bus and it will TOUCH YOU. I lived in fear for so long. I also just generally have an irrational fear of vomit and throwing up in general. I'm almost positive our sick passenger is drunk, or on drugs, so I'm not all that scared of being sick, thank god, which is the primary fear.

Anyway, you are scared of things for reasons. My feet were already up when all this went down. It's going to be a long night.

(PS, I understand wanting to be drunk or black out for a long bus ride, but really? REALLY??? This happened maybe 20 minutes after he got on in Durham. Asshole.)

edit: I'm now in DC, finally off of that godforsaken bus. The guy ended up locking himself in the bathroom on the bus and passing out. The driver had to pry the door open with a screw driver. At a rest stop, a passenger took it upon herself to cover the isle with paper towels and trash bags. More notable quotations from the ladies sitting near me:

"Oh my god, if he had gotten his filth on my Snuggie, Mama Africa!!!!!"
"Yeah, he's lucky that it didn't get on me, I would have really gone off."
"Why they going to get him out of the bathroom? Let him stay in there until we get to DC!"

me: "He is probably passed out in there!"
lady: "he might be dead in there. I don't even care if he's dead!"

"he just came on the bus LOOKING to sit next to someone, he knew he was sick! he knew! He WANTED to sit next to us!"

symptoms of insanity

2011-02-13T01:22:00.001-05:00

my nose is full of cold sores. I am glad I get them in this way because no one can tell I have them (unless they can hear my nose whistling when I try to breathe). I hate it because it hurts, fills my nose up with scabs, makes it hard to breathe, makes me sneeze, and feels like there are 800 things in my nose.

I am not that busy right now so I have given the nose problem too much thought. I'm starting to wonder if I keep blowing my nose and picking the scabs off if I will lose my sense of smell. So far so good, ever since the new neighbors moved into apartment #3 the building has smelled like vacuum cleaners and burning dogs.

I want the world to know that my nose is bothering me a lot and it's not socially acceptable for me to really talk about it or complain that much. I seriously want to do something horrible to make this problem go away.

learn more about Voldermort cat here

swampy

2011-02-04T00:52:00.003-05:00

this

sweet and sour

2011-02-01T05:41:00.000-05:00

I am having a hard time grasping the "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act," which also redefines what rape is. Obviously, it will be rewritten before it ever gets through, which hopefully it won't.

I just don't understand how in 2011 people still can't trust women with their own lives. People in the US like to think of the US as a leader in the world and yet we can't fund the most basic of medical procedures on the grounds that it is "immoral." I'm sorry, but I never thought my tax money was being used "morally" when it was spent on needless wars, on torture, on dictators, on capital punishment, etc etc. When these kind of bills crop up, which they do anytime conservatives have an ounce of power, I feel like I am being threatened personally. My thinking goes like this: because I am a woman, I can't make a good decision- if I ever were to need an abortion my health insurance wouldn't cover it simply because the government thinks it's THE WRONG CHOICE. Well, it's not their choice to make, and forcing insurance companies to play along because of government subsidies will deny women of a right they have. Thinking about these things makes me feel like my brain is on fire.

I hope this bill doesn't get anywhere, I haven't even gone into how it affects the definition of rape. It will make you sick.

So to counter all this heavy duty political rage, I am so happy about the new Fleet Foxes album coming out in May. The title track is out! They are going on tour!

observing

2010-12-20T18:09:00.000-05:00

- I can see the neighboring houses from my second floor windows. I watched the guy who lives in the house next door come home and lock his bicycle up. Then, he walked around the back of the house, of which I have a prime-time view, and peed. I watched him pee in the yard like a true voyeur.

- my bathroom is a couple steps from my apartment. It is private and only I use it. I woke up from a nap and went out to use it and a small gray cat greeted me. It was very happy to see a person. I think this cat gets out a lot because I hear it often. It wove in between my legs a lot and meowed and took great interest in my bunny slippers. When I opened the door to the bathroom it ran inside! I had to throw it out twice. When I emerged the cat was not as friendly- it would weave between my legs and occasionally jump up on my leg and pretend to bite me! Then I waited for it to hear another person to run to so I could go inside my apartment. Being allergic to cats is lame. It's still out in the hall crying. Now I'm kind of afraid to go out to go to the grocery store.

I'm lonely tonight, but feeling alright

2010-11-01T03:03:00.000-04:00

I have neglected this blog. I have been alternating between being overwhelmingly busy and not having much to do at all.

I've been reading a lot for pleasure again, which always inspires me to write more. I am tempted by National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo) but am resisting because friend G and I got selected to be in the Sustainable Midlands Holiday Market selling out wares (of which I need to be making instead of a novel).

It has been feeling like my life is something similar to a John Irving novel lately. I recently got an email from my dad about all of my classmates that have come to him to buy engagement rings (he is a jeweler). I have always known that he is one of the first people in the town I grew up in to know about people's intentions of marriage [it used to thrill me as a child that my dad held such huge secrets], but now those people are people I grew up with. [I think this is an amazing basis for a novel]. I mostly have felt a general feeling of nausea when hearing about things like this (engagements, babies, weddings), though lately I have just been feeling giddy and happy for those people. I think a lot of it is just knowing how happy they are at that moment and for the coming months. I do get jealous these days, though, of people who seem have their shit together. I think that is because I get lonely. I am so much better at it than I was but sometimes the rollercoaster that controls my brain chemistry just dives too fast and misinterprets things in dumb ways. I like this video a lot:

I went to Moogfest on Friday night, it was basically the most fun thing ever. I miss dancing and djs and crazy lights and feeling euphoric. I saw my 7th grade boyfriend and recognized him by his voice. I'm still reeling a little from that, though I was in a rush and couldn't talk. I can't believe shit, sometimes.

Gosh, feeling down late at night is lame. I need to sleep. I really want to feel certain of some things. I think people go through life looking for certainty about things and the more they find the happier they are, even if that certainty is that they just don't give a damn.

Anyway, I have been listening to The Secret Sisters non stop for like 4 days and mostly just this song:

Things I like all playing together

2010-08-29T01:40:00.000-04:00

So, there is a J. Crew distribution center near where I live. Said distribution center has a big warehouse sale once a month where lots of the cute vintage inspired clothes are marked down to prices that I can afford (can't afford J. Crew normally). I go pretty much every time it happens if I'm able and have saved some money for it. This morning I went and waited in line for the longest amount of time EVER (2 hours) but left with some really great pieces.

While waiting in line they had the current J. Crew catalog on hand to whet all the shopping appetites of all the many women waiting (there were some men, most there not on their own accord). I looked through it twice and found that one of the male models in the current (September 2010) catalog HAS A GIANT BEARD and looks like he JUST JUMPED SHIP FROM THE ALLMAN BROTHERS' ALBUM "BROTHERS AND SISTERS" AND PUT ON A SUIT.

Way to go clean cut J. Crew. Now I'm going to search my body for the device that obviously has been planted in me that lets J. Crew know everything I like in the world. I bet the next catalog will come with a free wheaten terrier that smells like lavender when you pet it.

the end

Apple Juice

2010-08-17T19:32:00.000-04:00

It just occurred to me that I never posted my entry to an Earthfare video contest on here. It stars the boys I babysit, S and O. They are major characters in my life- as you will understand if you watch the video.

Be sure to look out for S being 100% hilarious and repeating everything O says and the chocolate all over O's teeth at one point. Oh boy, I do love those boys.

I need the darkness, someone please cut the lights

2010-08-16T12:17:00.000-04:00

I'm back in Asheville. I'm pretty pleased to be back. My living situation has caused some stress but I am moving at the end of the month so things will be changing soon. It will be my first apartment all to myself. I've been reading the blog Tiny-Ass Apartment as well as obsessing over Apartment Therapy since I put the deposit down. I'll be purging a lot of my stuff soon to prepare. The possibility of a dog is in the future once I recover from the financial stress of doctors bills (all well visits) housing deposits, travel, etc.

I had a pretty crazy experience while I was at home. My mom and I went to the Verizon store to get new phones (time to sign a new contract). I seriously hate going to the Verizon store. I usually do look forward to getting a new phone (toy) and can deal with the store for that- but this time.... I think the combination of the weight of getting a new phone when my old one works pretty well (4+ years later!) and my mom trying to explain what she wanted to the commission-obsessed salesman when she doesn't really understand what exactly she wants... I don't know. The store was packed with people musing over new phone gadgets and I just started feeling really really crazy. I thought I was going to freak out, it must be what people who get claustrophobic feel like. I just told mom we had to leave and I walked out. She was good about it and we just left. I've never gone nuts in that way before. I think the bi-polar-ness I feel when I'm at home influenced that a lot. I have moments of extreme vulnerability when I'm there.

I think I'm going through some kind of life-stage that is purely grounded in a holistic search to make me happy. That includes not working a standard 40-hour a week job, learning to be comfortable in solitude (dealing with loneliness in healthy ways), and just saying yes to everything that has potential for excitement, even if there may be consequences later. Being in the mountains makes me so happy. It thrills me that I can drive for a while and sleep outside where I can see ALL THE STARS.

Since I work about 20 hours a week right now (all at night), I have a lot of time to play during the day. I've been trying to fill my days as much as possible with outside activities and exercise. Being outside and moving helps my brain so much. I try to go on at least one adventure every day.

I have been listening pretty much solely to Lissie lately (burnout on She & Him is a sad reality). Lissie's album is going to be huge, I promise. In case you might question her complete rad-ness here is PROOF:

I babysat a lot last week. 4-year-old S is trip, hanging out with him is like hanging out with someone who is on drugs (typical 4-year-old). He was drinking some kind of sparkling water drink he calls "fizzy water." I said, "S, what does that fizzy water taste like?" and he said very slowly,
"it. tastes. like. your. blood."
"really? how do you know that?"
"I don't know"
"you said it tastes like my blood, what does that taste like?"
".......fizzy water"

I also would like to plug quite possibly the greatest blog I've read in years: Hyperbole and a Half. You should read the greatest entry of all time which is called This is Why I'll Never be an Adult. It explained my life to myself in a way that I had not ever realized.

I got a ticket to see Sufjan Stevens in Asheville when he comes in November. I am hoping (borderline praying) that he will play some of his Christmas music when he is here.

Here are some pictures from recent adventures:

This is the jam:

home on the range

2010-07-26T15:39:00.000-04:00

I am staying at my mom's house in SC this week. Here is a list she made on a piece of paper that I have been glancing at for the past 30 minutes until I realized there is no unifying theme (that I can tell, I'm sure there is). In the theme of Found Magazine, I give you this list (I "estimated" on some words) Also, "CHS" in her language refers to Charleston, SC:

90 degrees in the shade Look Away!
Naturalist
William Bartram Palmetto State
Chatooga trails
ID plants & animals
locating dude in villages
Low Country - Sandhills
Highlander
Ceril Waisetes
1 ce tea Elvis
Shagging (state dance) @ Myrtle Beach
Porgy & Bess
Historic, Deliverance's Chatooga
Beautiful & Romantic CHS
Hiking History Rivers
Gardens - plantations, wars, CHS fills 2 shelveo@

Wind in my Sails

2010-07-19T22:46:00.000-04:00

I am in Connecticut visiting my family. My aunt has pretty bad breast cancer and she just got done with a really aggressive form of chemo. She is really sick. She doesn't have any hair. I have never been around a cancer patient like this. It makes me so afraid.

My cousins were here, though (they are my age) and it was great to be around the whole family. It's so rare to have "everyone together" when you grow up, I always think about people as part of the unit they were with when I was a child. I love it when it all comes back together.

My uncle recently bought a sailboat off of craigslist. He doesn't know how to sail very well but we still went out twice this past weekend on the Thames river. He taught me to sail and now I am totally in love with sailing. There is magic in the power of wind blowing you across the water- trying to harness it just enough to go where you intend to go but recognizing that you really don't have any control at all. That wind can die down just as fast as it can pick up. It falls into my mantra that I've been thinking a lot about in the past few months: "Don't push the river, it flows." Also, the energy conservation geek in me gets totally high off of the fact that the boat is powered on nothing but wind- way cool. On one tack I caught the wind and the boat leaned 30 degrees! (that is a lot)

One hand on the tiller and one hand on the jib line tacking like a motherfucking professional

I was supposed to catch the train back to NYC this afternoon but a huge thunderstorm knocked out the electricity to the Amtrak trains running between Boston and NYC. I am secretly glad to stay, even though the cousins and their friends are gone now. I really love how healing it can be to be in a "grownup" household.

One year later

2010-07-18T20:45:00.001-04:00

A brief reflection one year later:

you go toward Georgetown, I'll go toward Georgia Ave

2010-07-09T02:36:00.000-04:00

Here are some things that have happened recently. I'm on the Boltbus going to NYC right now and bored out of my mind.

1. On the fourth of July I went to a BBQ/ potluck in Takoma Park. At said event Henry Allen (pulitzer prize winning former writer for the Post) stood on a deck overlooking the party with an American flag draped over his shoulders reading the decleration of independance. At the conclusion, after four tries, a replica Civil War canon was shot (at nothing in particular). I ate at least 4 different potato salads.

2. At the wonderful Thai market / cafe I mentioned in my last post I was hanging out eating some sticky rice- killing time. An old woman came in with a man who seemed to be her son. She was Asian but not Thai and it was obvious that English was not her first language. She was acting like a general crotichity old woman- looking at the menu and the food and interrorgating the Thai man behind the counter (who is also older). She kept saying, "Where is de rice? Rice? I do not see de rice!! Rice rice rice!" and then she looked at the man behind the counter and said, "Do you haveee any rice?!" and the man said, "OF COURSE WE HAVE RICE! ASIANS EAT RICE!" and everyone laughed. At one point he also offered his glasses to her because she wasn't reading any of the signs posted. ("CAN'T YOU SEE? YOU NEED HELP?!")

3. The night before last I had a dream that somehow got tickets to see She & Him at the 9:30 club in DC. Apparently a man who looked exactly like Neil Young attacked me for having them (?) and I screamed but then I didn't care. I went to the show with my bff C. When I woke up it was the kind of wake-up where your eyes just pop open and you sit up and are like BAM. THAT DREAM NEEDS TO HAPPEN. but not the getting attacked by Neil Young part.

4. Last night I ate dinner with old friend D. I ate some kind of Indonesian noodle dish which I enjoyed. Afterward I took him home (cars are magic) and thought it would be too late to catch the She & Him show at the 9:30 club that started at 7. I got there at about 8:20 thinking, "what am I doing, there is NO WAY I'm going to get in... this show has been sold out for a while..." But I was resolute to see Zooey (especially after dreaming about seeing her) so I parked my car and marched over to the crowd of DC hipsters (pathetic attempts at hipster). I waited around a while, no one was selling tickets (9:30 lets you sell tickets at face out front- pretty sweet). I watched a couple guys buy some tickets and then it was my turn! I got a ticket for $30 and went in. It was PACKED and sweaty hot (what isn't sweaty hot these days?). I pushed towards the front. She & Him didn't even go on until 9:30 (joke's on me? is this always how it goes?) It was such a great show. Zooey is so tiny, I somehow thought she would at least be taller. She is a very small person. M. Ward rules. They played a cover of "Wouldn't it be Nice" which Zooey said they had never played before. Zooey's eyes sparkle in real life just like they do in pictures. That was cool. Also she doesn't smile much but does jump around a lot. Her voice is perfect. I hate DC/ hipsters for not dancing at all, I know it was packed and stuff but standing there like you're in a conference or something is ridiculous, especially with that music. I danced alone.

5. At the 9:30 club they are very strict about bringing in cameras. If they find one in your bag they will take it away and make you check it. They found mine (tears) but they didn't find my FISHEYE FILM CAMERA so I took pics with that. HAHAHA WHO IS THE MOST HIPSTER OF ALL. THIS GIRL. I still really wish I had known about the camera rule, it would have been so easy to sneak it in my bra or in a zipper pocket in my purse. Damn.

6. I was walking to the Takoma Park metro this afternoon and passed by a young man. He looked at me and said "hey, try to stay cool and have a good day!" and I said "thank you! You do the same!" I LOVE TAKOMA PARK.

7. Oh, the hot. Being hot makes me forget to eat.

8. I really need to start actively giving up dairy. It makes me feel so sick. I ate frozen yogurt twice in one day the other day (hard to resist when you're so goddamn hot in the city) and felt SO BAD afterward. I know I'm lactose intolerant- it's just hard when the only reprocussions are feeling terrible for a while- which apparently I have been unknowingly dealing with for several years so I'm used to how it feels. I am going to use Zooey for inspiration, she is allergic to dairy.

9. I love Paul the octopus. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/08/AR2010070802495.html?wpisrc=nl_most

HALF PRICE Y'ALL

2010-07-06T01:35:00.000-04:00

Explorations in Maryland and a significant reduction in snot have led to a much happier E.

I found a Thai grocery store / restaurant that I am IN LOVE WITH. http://www.yelp.com/biz/thai-market-silver-spring $1 Thai iced tea and all their food is $6 or less! I ate some mango sticky rice and forgot how DENSE sticky rice is. Whoa. It's awesome. I also procured an actual bag of tea to MAKE MY OWN THAI ICED TEA. I swore I wouldn't do this because it would lead to the downfall of one of my favorite things of all time but... can't resist a bag of loose tea. Also, IT COMES IN A CAN, TOO.

After spending some time in there examining everything I set out for Value Village, which I have heard in these parts is a massive thrift empire. Today the entire store was half off. I actually had specific items I needed and this place took care of it. It was a terrible mad house but definitely worth it. I may have gone overboard with ceramic cats but... HALF PRICE Y'ALL.

Here are some recent pictures from the National Zoo, 4th of July, various parties, etc.

Holiday red, white, and BLUES

2010-07-05T02:58:00.000-04:00

I'm surrounded by wonderful people and still feel so lonely. I think I've been homesick lately because I just want to be around my mom. She knows me to the core. I want someone to see through me so much. When someone in your life knows you that well and is "taken away" or has to be stifled for whatever reason- I swear it is like being dismembered.

Tonight was the first time I have ever desperately wanted a sibling. Jesus Christ, I need to get the hell back to Asheville and get a dog.

Maybe when my hormones quit raging and this goddamn virus goes away I will catch the upside of the roller coaster and ride it out for a while. The clarity I have when I am happy and the clarity I have when I am sad is overwhelming.

I'm getting blown away.

2010-07-02T02:07:00.001-04:00

For the past week I have gone from feeling woozy and sick to a full on epic cold. I've never had a cold in the summer before. You don't get to curl up under a blanket with hot tea. Also- there is no long sleeve to wipe your nose on. I've been lying on top of the bed in my underwear just hoping the snot and coughing and sneezing will stop. It should also be noted that when you're about to sneeze but can't is comparable to really bad sex.

The city relaxed on the summer heat and it has been glorious. Today I opened the window and let the cool air in all day. This evening the neighbor dogs were having fits. They sound really small, the barks are high pitched and seem to not be aimed at anything in particular. It is really obnoxious. In between the dog fits one of the dog owners was playing his guitar and singing. He played some Led Zeppelin and other classic rock favorites, stopping only to chastise the dogs by saying things like "if you don't stop I'm going to kill you, stop... STOP.... stooooooop!" The last song he played was "Like a Hurricane."

I have been spending a lot of money lately. I've been buying Chinese pastries and a lot of Thai food. I also bought several mangos and a couple jicamas. When I bought the jicamas the hispanic guy who weighed them asked me how I eat them. "I eat them plain, just raw" I said. He said he likes them with salt and lime juice and chili powder on them. I think I will try that when I do eat them this time.

I've been eating so many mangos that it makes me have an allergic reaction on my lips. Did you know Mango sap has urushiol in it, the same chemical that causes such terrible reactions to poison ivy? I'm usually fine and only have a mild reaction if I don't scrape the peel with my teeth or gnaw on the pit (both things I used to do).

I bought tickets for a great adventure next weekend. I am so lucky to have the friends that I do. It's like the bus driver that says "Have a blessed day" - thank you bus driver, I do feel blessed.

Summer Narcissism

2010-06-14T02:31:00.000-04:00

I'm spending a month in DC currently. It is hot but the breeze I get on my $35 cruiser bike helps. The jerky brakes also keep me alert.

Today after convincing myself that I didn't actually feel as bad as I had imagined I would (repercussions from a friend's birthday celebration last night) I had a great telephone pow-wow with C. She inspired me to drag the jerky $35 bike downstairs and ride ride ride to the Bloomingdale farmer's market where I have acquired a taste for the baguettes a local bakery sells. The salesman is a sweet man and he always greets me with "Bonjour!" and "Merci Madame." I get to pretend I'm in a sunny Paris for those few moments and for the remainder of my adventures with my baguette sticking out of my bag (half the fun of buying a baguette).

I helped a new friend with his vermicompost. Undertaking an urban garden is somewhat of a depressing thing but if one has enough energy it can be rewarding. I watched him dig up some pretty bad looking soil only to find that bricks had been laid about three inches below the dirt. Now the bricks line the garden so no one will step on the plants. Getting the worms out of the compost is kind of difficult. I ended up just trying to pick out the "dirt" and putting the worms back. I'm really thrilled about this compost because it means I can save my own food scraps for the worms. I haven't gotten to do that in too long. I need to start my own compost.

I returned home, ate a mango (great mango deal on Saturday) and went back out to meet a friend at the National Gallery to see the special exhibition of Allen Ginsberg's photographs. (the National Gallery's site is down?! That link actually is important, maybe more than the nga.gov site) Most of the photos were portraits and so interesting. He provided commentary on each one at some point- it was very intimate. I find it amazing that artists of that caliber all would know each other and be pals- though it isn't surprising. You know, just hanging out with Jack Kerouac, Bob Dylan, other homies. Stopping in the National Gallery also reminded me how awesome the Smithsonian system is. You can walk in off the street, turn a few corners and walk right up to this, or this. Thanks America!

We left the museum and were instantly entertained by a drag show going on in front of the National Gallery as part of the Gay Pride celebrations going on this week. The city breathes!

Dates with Mountains

2010-03-23T00:27:00.000-04:00

Went for a hike in early March with G and borrowed dog, Rosa. Rosa is the smartest dog I've ever encountered. G and I didn't know exactly where to go and Rosa always knew. We would start walking the wrong way and Rosa would practically roll her eyes at us. I need a dog that is smarter than me.

The mountains here look so grown up with snow all over them.. The snow makes them look taller! It was a perfect spring day on Saturday, 70 degrees and sunny- first day out with bare legs. Then today while I was at work I looked out of the window at one point and it was POURING SNOW. Western North Carolina does this every year but every year it takes everyone by surprise. I get excited every time.

riding in a spaceship, 1984

2010-03-16T00:34:00.000-04:00

Today I got my taxes done and came home and ate brussel sprouts for lunch. There is nothing like a wakeup call that you are a grownup like doing taxes and eating brussel sprouts.

I think I balanced it out tonight, though, by eating Thai food (after I swore off spending any more money for the next 3 months), going out to a new bar, and then wandering into a punk show downtown....

also, to further prove my childishness here is what I can't stop watching / listening to:

Triumphant Return of Internet Whore

2010-03-10T00:37:00.001-05:00

This morning I woke up with the song “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros in my head:

Home, Let me come home
Home is whenever I’m with you
Home, yes I am home
Home is wherever I’m with you

Returning from Paris after visiting my best friend there has really made me feel like home is just about who you’re with. I thought I would be devastated to return to Asheville after the fantasy Paris vacation, and it is kind of hard to see how expensive goat cheese is here, but my friends and the sunny mountains are providing a wonderful homecoming. The buffer of seeing a lot of lovies in DC due to a welcomed layover also helped- and reminded me that I am anything but alone.

I turned this blog off (you didn’t miss any posts, I just put it on lockdown) because I couldn’t keep my overwhelming winter sadness off of the internet. I am healed now and motivated to make this space more interesting and less personal (the way it started out in the beginning). This will continue to be a personal blog, though.

negative limerick

2009-12-22T22:26:00.007-05:00

my heart is heavy
I am filled with DREAD
if I see that fat man Santa
I will shoot him in the head

would rather celebrate alone
than surrounded by the past
just want to feel better
I hope Christmas goes by fast

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! But I think I'll miss this one this year.

2009-12-20T22:59:00.006-05:00

I need to write a post while I'm feeling (mostly) awesome.

The theme for Christmas this year is:

CHRISTMAS CAN SUCK A DICK 2K9

All that means is that I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. Don't care! (this is a lie)

It snowed between 12 and 17 inches in Asheville and basically all my wildest dreams came true (not true) but it made me SO HAPPY (THANK YOU SANTA). I love that the city shut down and I got to roam the streets and pick up snow and eat it everywhere I went. Snowball fights with strangers, giant snowmen, lots of booze, awesome storm times.... xtreme fun. I was hopeful that the snow might cancel Christmas (prevent me from going home) but the snow is probably going to melt and make that a reality again. I have to go back to hoping to get swine flu. Working from home again tomorrow means more happy fun time. It is putting a damper on my running schedule but that is ok- there is plenty of time for that when everything goes back to normal.

I think in line with the tradition of 40 days of 40's that my friends would do during Lent in college, I may be soon celebrating the 12 days of Champagne Christmas (starting today). Life is so much better with snow and Champagne and NO EXAMS or school stress.

This weekend I drank Brandy from a bottle and had a snowball chaser. There is something about snow and liquor that just goes hand in hand.

Oh man, I am ok. I am just as awesome as I always was. Probably until I wake up tomorrow I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. I have also decided that when I am home for the 3 days that are required of me I will either be drinking or on a runner's high. That is the goal, maybe for the rest of the month! It really is the perfect recipe for awesome. Just stay warm, be happy with what you've got, hope for the future. I have great friends.

desire

2009-12-17T20:31:00.005-05:00

Today I went to an animal shelter and found two of the most wonderful dogs. They were both poodle terrier mix type dogs just like my old dog Sam was. (This is a picture of Samantha)

I would have taken them home on the spot if it weren't for several important factors:

1. I can't have 2 dogs (they can't be separated)
2. I haven't moved yet
3. both of the dogs are 8 years old. I probably won't have enough expendable income for a geriatric dog for another few years
4. their names were terrible

wait, why can't I have those dogs?

I can't wait to get a dog. We will save each other. I have been wanting one since I was in college.

Dear Santa,
Elizabeth here. You read my blog, I'm sure. I've been kind of crazy this year. I have done some things I've regretted but never for the wrong reasons. I think I've done the best I could have this year. If I'm on the nice list, here is what I want:

a dog
some dog toys
a good dose of hope
some sanity
a big snow that shuts down everything for a couple days
lots of things that are unreasonable and can't be put on the blog (but you know what they are, because you read minds like Jesus and you're everywhere like a panopticon)

make it happen, Santa. I know how to make vegan cookies.

nothing is right

2009-12-15T22:00:00.005-05:00

I wish food didn't make me feel so sick every. time. I. eat.

I really need to get real with the vegan thing, when I stick to it I don't feel nearly as bad.

Santa, get behind me!

2009-12-13T22:09:00.007-05:00

tonight I got my craft on and it was so therapeutic. Making lino prints is soothing and not complicated. I need to be doing that way more often. It's such a beautiful process to think up an image and draw it and carve it and eventually paint it and print it and see if the print is what your image was in your head. My artistic endeavors very rarely turn out like they are in my head except with lino prints. I want to create an entire collection of prints and make stationary and sell it. If I'm going to be starving all the time I may as well be an artist too.

I was vegan all day today. Yesterday was foiled by honey. I think I'm going to be somewhat of a lazy vegan- if I can try to hold up through most of Christmas it will be awesome. I am definitely going to eat the candy in my stocking and whatever non-meaty food my mom cooks...

Tomorrow I am going to run a new loop at lunch. I'm really excited about it. I want to sign up for a 10K that is at the end of January but I'm not sure if I can do very well in it since it's so close. Thus far I've just been running for mental health reasons but I need something else to motivate me. I really would like to run a 10K- I know I can do it but I want to do it and be proud of it.

My room has become a case of complete squalor. My level of organization almost always reflects my mental state. I am happy to report that I am moving at the end of the month to a house a couple blocks from where I currently live... so if all else fails I will have to clean up to pack.

WHAT THE CUSS

2009-12-12T22:28:00.004-05:00

the world was made good by the following:

Fantastic Mr. Fox
Fantastic Mr. Fox soundtrack
Free showing of Elf at the Brew and View
awesome luck at the J. Crew sample sale
Christmas Jam beer at the Brew and View
mom visit
VEGAN DUMPLINGS
GREG
Megan
Tippy
hot toddies
the library
FUTURE EXCITING EVENTS THAT COST A LOT OF MONEY BUT ARE FULL OF LOVE AND ADVENTURE

FEELING REALLY GOOD

evil urges

2009-12-09T18:45:00.003-05:00

Oh, how Stuff White People Like speaks to me. I used a giftcard, does that make it ok?

When I feel really crazy I think in ALL CAPS. That's why the last two posts were so LOUD.

I just made my Corn Thyme soup but I made it VEGAN because today is a 100% vegan day. So far. I really need to lay off the cayenne.

I am considering further isolating myself from the PLANET by taking a Spanish II night class on Monday nights (my only night off other than Friday and Saturday). It's really cheap and I really would like to get better at Spanish. I think that now that I'm not actually in school it might be fun- I would have time to care and not be caught up in full time student insanity. Not sure if I should give up one of 3 nights off, though. The course ends in March.

I've been running along the French Broad River every day at lunch. I really like to see how big it gets after it rains. Sometimes it looks like a big, soft, pillow that you could jump on. I get these weird urges to jump on it and see if it would work even though I know it wouldn't. I also get urges like that when walking across tall bridges (jump off), hiking in cliff-type situations or steep areas (jump off, hurl myself down a mountain), etc. It's not suicidal, even in the happiest of times I feel like that.

The other day I thought I saw a raccoon chilling near the river but it turned out to be some geese.

MESSES OF RADIANT HEAT

2009-12-06T20:43:00.004-05:00

TODAY I WAS A VEGAN ALL DAY

I THINK THAT ALL THE SHIT IN MY ROOM THAT IS ALL OVER THE FLOOR ABSORBS HEAT WHILE I WORK AT NIGHT AND THEN GIVES OFF RADIANT HEAT THROUGH THE NIGHT AFTER I CUT THE HEAT OFF. THAT IS MY EXCUSE FOR WHY I HAVE NOT CLEANED MY ROOM / PUT AWAY CLOTHES IN OVER A MONTH.

I FEEL LIKE I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO CHRISTMAS OR TO SOME KIND OF 'BREAK' BUT THERE ISN'T ONE. I AM ONLY GOING TO GO HOME FOR 3 DAYS. DAMN STRAIGHT.

TODAY I DOWNLOADED THE ROSEBUDS ALBUM BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE IT YET. I TRIED TO DOWNLOAD THE GENERATIONALS BUT CAN'T FIND THE FULL ALBUM ANYWHERE.

EVERYTHING WILL BE WORTH IT. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE GREAT. I AM GOING TO BE OK. I AM GOING TO BE OK. I AM GOING TO BE OK. I AM GOING TO BE OK.

NOT VEGAN

2009-12-06T02:21:00.004-05:00

I AM SUCH A TERRIBLE VEGAN. GOAT CHEESE AND JELLO SHOTS MADE THIS DAY NOT VEGAN. THE JELLO SHOTS EVEN HAD WHIPPED CREAM. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE VEGAN WITH THAT?!!

I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN A VEGAN FOR 0 DAYS. I WENT VEGAN A WEEK AGO. MAN I SUCK.

HERE WE GO

2009-12-03T22:00:00.002-05:00

HERE IS WHAT I DID TODAY

I RAN 3 MILES
I ATE SOME SOUP
I SAW GREG AND CHILLI
I WORE MY NEW BLACK TIGHTS
I LISTENED TO GRAM PARSONS
I WORKED A LOT

2009-11-29T11:19:00.002-05:00

This is what I did when I wasn't being a super baby all weekend. BFF Carmen brings the sanity and the hope.

2009-11-27T11:57:00.001-05:00

that was the last time I will post some cryptic emo bullshit on the internet. Paper journal is being resurrected. sorry to everyone who read.
cheers.

Poopsgiving

2009-11-27T00:01:00.003-05:00

Sometimes the comfort of being at home is the same thing that makes it so intolerable. This entire town, the paths I take to people's houses, the smells in my mother's house, street signs, everything is dripping with memories and associations that I just would rather wipe out than be reminded of.

I guess I'm in an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of mood but honestly- I've felt this way about this town for years. This trip is just magnified because of recent developments and the fact that after you graduate from college you grow up like 20X.

Debbie downer, huh?

Here are things I am thankful for:

Conan on at 12:00!! TV is magic.
haircuts
Peewee Herman on a Roomba! (Conan)
my mom's new appreciation for alcohol
my mom being happy
living in the mountains
really good friends (even though they are everywhere I'm not, with a couple exceptions)
being loved even though I am awful
not being allergic to any foods
not being sick
the potential for getting a dog
health, life, food, shelter, privledge, opportunity, the future

all over the place

2009-11-23T23:13:00.004-05:00

On Friday when I was driving back from a meeting when the traffic on the highway backed up on the bridge that goes over the French Broad river. I figured it was a wreck and slowed down with all the other cars around me. When I got to where the police car was parked in the middle of the bridge with it's lights flashing I saw beyond it a huge dog, a husky, or a wolfdog, disemboweled and dead lying in the road. It's blood had colored a good portion of the bridge and was still being painted across with all the tires that drove by. It's intestines were strewn around like streamers at a party.

Here is a recipe that I make a lot. I call it "Corn Thyme Soup" but this incarnation of it tastes more like some kind of a pepper soup.

so you need:

1 can of corn

1 can of creamed corn

2 red bell peppers

1 green bell pepper

1 or 2 onions, depending on how much you like

a little butter and flour to make a rue

vegetable broth or chicken broth (one or two cans, or get the box and use about half)

about a cup of milk? maybe more

fresh thyme

cayenne, chili powder, white pepper (only one is necessary, you don't have to have all of them)

bacon (optional)

make a rue the way you know how to with the flour and the butter. If you cook this with the bacon you don't really need the rue, just cook the bacon instead and that is the soup base thing. cut up the onions and throw them in first to saute. Cut up the thyme and put that in too. I like a lot, to the point where you eat a leaf of it in every spoon full. Chopping the thyme makes its flavor come out more but you end up eating the "sticks" that the leaves are on. You can also just strip each "branch" of the leaves and throw the leaves in.

I let that saute while I cut up the peppers and throw those in, too. I like to cook this mix until everything isn't too too crunchy like it's raw, I guess just getting it to all mix flavors. Also, you can spice it with the chili powder, cayenne, and white pepper now if you want. I just spice it to taste how I like it but BE CAREFUL because all the spices sink to the bottom of the soup- so if you spice it and it doesn't seem to be getting spicy, all of it is prob on the bottom. Learned the hard way with that.

So... then you open up the can of corn, drain it, add that to the mix. Add the creamed corn too. Stir that up for a little. Then add the broth- I just add it until it's soupy and then add the milk on top of that. It just depends on how soupy or chunky you want it. The soup itself gets thicker over time, the entire soup is def. better a couple days after you make it.

After I add all the liquid I let it get hot again (on medium or low) and then cut it off. If you leave it on there too hot for too long the veggies just get boiled and are gross. I also taste it to see if it needs salt, ground pepper, more cayenne or anything like that. Sometimes if the broth is low-sodium or something I add soy sauce instead of salt. I don't think it really matters. I also put hot sauce in it if I want it to be hotter.

I eat this all the time.

I am a vegetarian again, I think when my life starts spinning out of control I like to be able to restrict things- food is an easy target. Since I am getting a haircut tomorrow my Zooey Deschanel obsession has been kind of bad today. I learned she is a vegan because she is allergic to most dairy. Maybe for new years I will be a vegan and see how that goes. I can't deal with that over the holidays. I want to be Zooey.

I pulled out my banjo and played some Christmas carols tonight, that made me feel good. I also now have a tumblr account: http://elizzlebizzle.tumblr.com

Making playlists is really therapeutic for me. I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving and see old friends. I hope they want to see me too.

broken heart remix

2009-11-16T15:56:00.001-05:00

"today my eyes are in a state of either watering up and about to cry or recovering from watering up. it was one or the other, all day.

I just want to hide, or run, or unzip myself out of this life and into someone elses, or just hit rewind for a couple years. I feel so bad. I hope the bear that has been patrolling the intersection of Broadway and Merrimon that I heard in my backyard last week comes and eats me in my sleep tonight.

I am trying to quit the internet for a while but the alternatives for right now include beer, sleeping, some books I'm not excited about, and an entire world that I'm not interested in. what am I doing."

I wrote this on July 20 but it all comes back. I hope the bear is still around. I am so sad.

2009-11-16T02:26:00.004-05:00

I hate it when I feel so sick that I think I'm going to throw up but I can't seem to do it. I don't have the courage to stick my fingers down my throat, either. I don't even know if it would make me feel better.

Probably not.

map

2009-11-11T11:32:00.002-05:00

here's the link to that: www.xkcd.com/256

Is it weird that I just want to print this out and highlight all the things I use?

crash

2009-10-22T00:36:00.003-04:00

It was like the shelf had to throw all the dishes at me to remind me that I'm human.

throw me a party on a mountainside

2009-09-29T19:01:00.003-04:00

I was on the south side of town so I made a quick stop in the J. Crew clearance center (the J. Crew distribution center for the South East is in Arden, NC) to see if they had any deals. They always do, I don't know why I always go there because I always end up buying something... but today was a great day because they had a bunch of their party dresses on sale (they hardly ever are on the sale rack, they are always $70, which is nothing considering they sell in the catalog for $200+ but too much for my party dress budget). I got this one, which orginially retailed for $275 in a great purple color for $7. I also got the one below in black for $7 (it also retailed for $275).

Now I just need some kickin' parties to wear them to. Or just wear them around town, this is Asheville, after all.

And speaking of Asheville, since the weather got cold today and it was clear and sunny and GORGEOUS... it feels like the dumbest idea in the world to want to move back to DC. Though, when I was in DC this weekend, it felt like the dumbest idea in the world to STAY IN ASHEVILLE. I just forgot how intoxicating the fall is here. I just need to have a life where I can live in two places. And wear awesome cocktail dresses.

guh the weather here... so awesome. I wore tights today but all I wanted to do was go backpacking.

No one really prepares you for how unreasonable the 20-something's mind is.

movies and other boring things

2009-08-30T21:40:00.005-04:00

I finally went and got a Buncombe County library card on Saturday and was so pleased to be reminded of their nice DVD section, all of which are free to rent for 7 days! So I picked out Pierrot Le Fou, a French movie from 1965. It is kind of hard to follow, but the beautiful scenes and 60's style kept my attention. I took that screen capture because the subtitles were just as amusing as the scene (!) I'd recommend if you are philosophical by nature or just like good scenes. In the movies, women's bangs never get greasy. My bangs are usually greasy by about 4:00PM.

I also recently saw 500 Days of Summer and have been listening to the soundtrack ever since. A+, even if I've already worn out many of the songs years ago. I have a serious girlcrush on Zooey Deschanel- the 3rd Rock from the Sun guy can forget it. I have serious aspirations/tendencies to be a cross between the character of Summer in 500 Days of Summer and Amelie in Amelie (Audrey Tautou). But seriously, is Zooey Deschanel human? I think she is an angel. (the movie was ok, major chick flick).

I also recently saw Ponyo and that was another trippy Anime adventure courtesy of Hayao Miyazaki. I have to say I still prefer Spirited Away, even if Tina Fey does a voiceover in the US version of Ponyo. Still, some pretty awesome animation that isn't the stupid 3D crap that is pretty much all that exists anymore.

My computer started acting wonky around the beginning of August and I assumed it was a virus. My roommate Kim's boyfriend was so nice and looked at it for me and figured out that the HARD DRIVE WAS CRASHING... wtf Dell?!! But since it is under a year old Dell sent a new hard drive for free. I'm back up and running and soon I'll have all my old data back. I did consider buying a Macbook for about 3 days, though. So yeah, just another person to tell you that Dell sucks.

It's been pretty cool at night here for the past few days. I finally got a bed (!) and am not sleeping on the floor anymore. That means that it's way harder to get up in the morning and that laying about all weekend is an option again. I am so thankful, though the floor wasn't so bad.

I always have big ideas to make this blog a hub of excitement but all I can seem to do with it is make it too personal and not update it enough.

The Kids Don't Stand a Chance

2009-08-11T23:02:00.004-04:00

I think Asheville is in the middle of the peak summer heat wave right now. I have slept with my backup fan blowing on my head the past two nights. Having no AC is still very satisfying in an OCD energy-conservation kind of way.

I bought a car! I will take pictures soon. It is a white 2003 Honda Civic Hybrid. Hybrid means I don't feel as guilty about buying a car as I would have if it were not a hybrid. Mainly, I am in love with it because

1. It's freaking cute and awesome
2. The turning radius turns me on (seriously, it beats the volvo my mom had)
3. It's the color I wanted
4. It has an electric engine to help the gas engine
5. it CUTS OFF COMPLETELY WHEN YOU STOP!!!!!!!!!!! SO AWESOME
6. MAIN REASON: it has awesome miles-per-gallon tools that tell you how many MPG you're using at any given time. It also can record the average MPG you get when you set the miles- like, when you track how many miles you go, it will also track your average MPG. (I'm currently in the process of seeing how accurate the MPG tools are by doing the math the old skool way so we'll see how that goes)
7. I didn't get it at a stupid car dealership. My advice to the sensitive cats in the world: don't shop at car dealerships. They are insane! There is no "deal" about it, just getting hosed by a-hole car dealers. I had major problems with the whole "haggling" process and getting disrespected because I am a young woman. Craigslist all the way.

Also, hilarious point about hybrid drivers, if you notice they drive really slow: it's because they want REALLY GOOD MPG. So addicting and fun to get 100MPG going down hills at 35 mph... not realizing/not caring you're holding up traffic.

So I am in the process of becoming a full fledged North Carolina resident. I passed the NC written driving test and didn't miss a single question! Some of those suckers are a little tricky, but hell if I was going to go back to the DMV another time. That's like taking a trip to hell and deciding to return for another round. Now I wait for my new license to come in the mail. Then I have to go get NC tags for my car, then I will be a real person. I have to say I am totally spoiled by the car already, public transportation down here is the suck for sure. I try to take the bus when I can to go to/from work but the new hasn't worn off of driving the cutest car around town.... so I need to get over that. Adventures to DC are in the future, as well as Raleigh/Chapel Hill, Weldon (NC) and Beaufort, SC. I already went home once and that was the worst shitshow of all time, won't be doing that again anytime soon. Sometimes home is so. hard.

In case the internet world is wondering: I broke up with my boyfriend. It has been awful. I feel like crap just about all the time, but I am slowly feeling better. I guess it's something we all have to go through. I have been trying to distract myself with the car, friends, etc but I can't keep busy enough. It was so much easier to be insanely busy in DC. Asheville just isn't happenin' as much. It makes me feel like such an island- really distant from everything I thought I knew. The past year I feel like I've grown up more than any other year probably since I was an infant. It's so uncomfortable- I've been really wanting to hit the "rewind" button on life a lot lately (it makes me think about my friend Pete's tatoo of the play, pause, stop, fast forward and rewind buttons like on a remote). I know I will get better- I am getting better. I just need to quit being alone and hiding and schedule the shit out of my life again.

I've been listening to Vampire Weekend and The Magnetic Fields non-stop.

I get by with a little help from my friends

2009-08-03T19:08:00.003-04:00

kids

2009-07-17T23:13:00.005-04:00

Summer is halfway through, amazing! I really dislike summer, for the most part. South Carolina ruined it for me, I guess.

Asheville living is going really well. I went to DC for the 4th of July and to Beaufort SC last weekend for my grandma's 85th birthday. Both adventures went well.

I'm shopping to buy a car and it sucks. I really want the Honda Civic Hybrid but they are kind of hard to find. So I'm settling for just a regular Honda Civic. Trying to buy a car without a car to shop for cars is really hard. I've already had several bad encounters with dealership jackasses and I would like to refrain from doing that until the end of time. I can't believe how people will lie to you and put on such a performance and expect you to fall for it and give them big amounts of money. Please. Bitch, please.

So, sometimes I have daily themes, and yesterday had a really clear one: CHILDREN. A friend of a friend who I know distantly gave birth yesterday to a little girl. The mom is my age, married, other than that the same song and dance for the most part- I can't stop thinking about it though. It's the first person I've known that was my age to have a baby. I think it's so flabbergasting to me because it's a really real wakeup call to the fact that I am a GROWNUP. I mean, not really, but you know. That could be me. I'm not ready for that type of grownup activity yet- but god. It is so magic and scary and beautiful. I wonder if I'll ever be ready for that.

To cap off all those thoughts I babysat last night for the first time in a long time- 2 boys, 3 years old and 6 years old. I guess it's my selfish 20's narcissism but how on earth do people do that?! Parenting is so hard- it must be rewarding enough, I understand the romantic aspects of having a family but the day-to-day is really hard. I'm sure all these questions and observations are just signs that I am absolutely not ready for any of this, though I know I could do it if I really had to.

When I ride the bus to work in the morning I've been recognizing faces that are on the ride. There is one family, usually just the mom and the two little kids (boy and girl, both under 5, the mom is my age). The kids are always chirping and whirring and eating some part of their breakfast (one morning it was a bag of potato chips!) while their mom tries to keep them from being too loud. This morning the dad was there too and they were arguing all the way to the daycare stop. How do any of us survive our families? How does anyone make it out halfway decent? I know some families are much easier to grow up with than others- even still, everyone has their problems. You must be really idealistic and in love to even consider having a family with anyone- I hope I am that way someday.

I'll just end this post with this

Coming Home

2009-06-27T11:09:00.009-04:00

A lot has been going on. I moved back to Asheville (very stressful) but I am really happy about it. My boyfriend helped me a lot which was really nice. After all the mean packing got done we went to Great Falls, VA to check out the crazy waterfalls on the Potomac (see picture).

My new job is really exciting and exactly what I should have been doing the whole time. Happy non-profit flexible job! My office is in the upstairs of a cute house across the street from a great coffee shop. There are two types of lavender next to the sidewalk to the porch as well as a hydrangea. Those are basically my two favorite plants/flowers. The lavender is blooming right now so you can smell it when you walk by. From the window of my desk I can see the blue ridge mountains. It has been my fantasy in life to live in a room where you can see those mountains. My senior year of college I could kind of see a ridge line- so I guess that counts, but I finally have the real deal with this office. Unbelievable. I miss talkin' trash and recycling but energy conservation is all related.

My new apartment is super cute and really cheap. I live downtown and can walk to everything I need. I am around the corner from Greenlife Grocery for instant food gratification and I just discovered today that the closest ATM to me is from a credit union and DOESN'T CHARGE ME A FEE TO USE IT?!?! Magic happens in Asheville. Anyways, my room is pretty small but that is ok with me, it is basically only for sleeping and dressing and storing. It is a 3 bedroom apartment in a big house that has been separated into apartments. I am still searching for a bed (hard to do without a car) so I have a palate on the floor which is fine for now. The biggest improvement overall I think are all the windows in my life now. There are windows in my office (my old office didn't have windows, it was awful), there are WINDOWS IN MY ROOM that look over a wooded lot. Since the room is on the second floor of the house it feels like I am in a tree house!! Lots of trees. I can hear birds, even identify some of them! There is a church close by that rings bells on the hour. At 12:00, 5:00 and I think 6:00 it plays crazy bell songs for like 15 minutes. I'm in love. It's exactly what I wanted / needed.

New roommate K is totally awesome, as well. She and I went to college together and it is really such a good situation. She has a cat, Queen, that lives with us too. I am allergic to cats, only if I pet them and love them like I want to though. So we live an awkward existence- I talk to Queen a lot but if she gets too close I have to shoo her away. I hate doing that but so it goes. I call her the following names:
Queen
Queenie
Queen Bean
McQueen
Little White Cat
Little Cat
Bad Cat

I thought for a while that Eloise (from one of my favorite children's books of all time) had a pet dog named Queenie but after some research it turns out her pug is named Weenie. Queen is 15 years old! She acts younger than that, though. She takes a long time to sit down. She is very small and quiet. She tries to go out of the door of the apartment anytime you open it, though when she does actually get out she is too scared to go down the stairs to properly escape. Our relationship is complicated and sad because I do love her but I can't pet her, so she is still kind of mystified by me. She is a very friendly cat.

Since moving back I have been riding my bike to and from work every day. The first few days were kind of hard- I had to reacquaint myself to the hills around here. Now I am pretty comfortable with them- I think a lot of it is just getting into routine. I am in the process of getting a car, sadly, because the program I'm doing requires it. I'm telling myself it won't be so bad because I can drive home for the weekend if I want, or drive to Pisgah to go hiking, go to DC, go to my favorite grocery store on the planet Amazing Savings (they don't have a website! Figures...) or go to anywhere I want.

This morning, my first real Saturday since I've been back, I got up extra early to check out a yard sale on my street. I was hoping for a bed- they did have a futon, which I considered, but I really don't like sleeping on futons. Instead I got a MSR Whisperlite Internationale Backpacking Stove, something I have wanted SPECIFICALLY for years- they were selling it for $20! Ha! This stove rules because:
#1 It's a Whisperlite, the stove I am used to using since my very first backpacking trip
#2 It's SOOOO LIGHT
#3 It's constructed really simply so even an engineering dummy like me can take the thing apart and fix it if it's screwy
#4 The internationale version of the Whisperlite can run off of lots of different kinds of fuels, not just white gas. This sucker can even run on JET FUEL if you happen to have it when your plane crashes and you have extra jet fuel. EXTRA SPECIAL!!!!

I also got a Minolta Dynax 5 SLR film camera for $25. I just need to get some batteries! What a steal. All my SLR's die (I probably have a graveyard of at least 4 or 5 in my room in my mom's house) so when I see a cheap one I like to snatch it up and use it until it dies, too. It's cheaper than getting the old ones fixed, that's for damn sure. So hopefully some happy really nice pictures soon. This camera even came with the instruction book and still had the original receipt! Crazy! Maybe this one won't die. I can hope.

I also made french toast for breakfast, something I haven't done in a long time. I should cook things that aren't stir-fry more often. haha. NAAAHHHH

Being back in Asheville has felt like coming home. I am really pleased with everything so far.

Everything needs to fix itself

2009-06-14T23:05:00.005-04:00

I am feeling very frustrated and lame right now. I really hate not being busy (socially). There are a lot of complex things going on but as sad as they all are it boils down to the fact that I really can't wait to get out of here. There are a lot of things that I want to stay in DC for but in every situation there is something to ruin it. For example: I love my roommate E. We are great roommates. But I HATE LIVING IN A BASEMENT. I love trash, recycling, money, and my coworkers at my job. I HATE MY BOSS. I HATE MY TASKS AT WORK. WORK IS MISERABLE. These examples go on and on. So I may as well just leave all this shit to fix itself and possibly return in the future. I am sad and excited at the same time.

Asheville here I come! I'm leaving in 3 or 4 days.

I don't even know

2009-06-10T23:44:00.002-04:00

Oh my GOD what is happening to my life!? Hello cryptic blog post!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Come down from the mountain, you have been gone too long

2009-06-01T23:02:00.006-04:00

So, big news! I went down to Asheville last Thursday after work
("J, I'm off of work, what is the plan?" "E, do you want to leave now?" "YES" "Lets go.")

I had a job interview in Asheville for a position with the Western North Carolina Green Building Council. It was on Friday in a happy upstairs room of a house/office in West Asheville. I felt so good about it and was already dreading the feeling of being let down after being so excited about leaving my current job (which has progressively gotten worse and worse, things I have not revealed in this blog).

I returned my bff R's car to her (she was still at work) and since I didn't have anything to do but wait I offered to help her since her job was swamped that day. Her bosses immediately swooped in to meet me (very sweet) and when I told them I had just returned from a job interview they scolded R for not telling them I was looking for a job (!?) and ushered me into a hilarious conference room- shouting "get the cookies! bring the cookies!" the whole time. So I sat and ate a cookie while we had a pseudo-job interview at this law firm?!! It was really funny and so kind at the same time. I really love small town type things. I swear upon everything I know, I think that people in Western NC are NICER than most. I don't know what it is. Maybe I am nicer when I am there, too. So I had two job interviews back to back, one official and one not (but kinda?). So funny. At the end one of the ladies said, "We're ready when you are!"

I changed out of my interview suit and met up with my boyfriend for a weekend of hiking and general Western NC therapy in Pisgah National Forest. It was wonderful to smell all the mountain smells and listen to wind. Wind is really loud when you're high up in the mountains. We hiked up Black Balsam and over that ridge and back down to Flat Laurel Creek (please talk to me if you know what area I'm talking about, it's one of my favorite places of all time). We didn't actually go backpacking because we really didn't have time to. It was still so nice to relax and stare at mountains and rivers and nothing without any obligations for a while. The mountains help me to clear my head better than anything else. I can see things for what they are so much better after I consult the Blue Ridge.

So Sunday morning came and my blissful mountain time had to end. The drive back to DC was grueling as usual, though I had a lot to think about. By the time we got to Fredericksburg it was time for a snack so J and I cruised the chip isle of some gas station debating whether or not almonds were a better snack than Teddy Grahams (I hate Teddy Grahms). I got a call from an unknown number - 9:30PM on a Sunday night? It was THE GUY FROM THE GREEN BUILDING COUNCIL. I GOT THE JOB. 9:30PM ON A SUNDAY NIGHT. I am just now coming down from the cloud I was elevated to on the chip isle. Holy hell, a ticket back to Asheville doing meaningful work for people WHO WILL APPRECIATE IT. Yes yes, a thousand times yes!

Today was filled with resigning from my current job (!!! hello grownup!) and the beginning of lots of mental lists. I am moving back down to Asheville in less than 3 weeks. Dreams come true! I can't stop listening to Fleet Foxes. I am feeling good. Goodbyes are hard but I am getting better at them every time.

Gosh, I am so pleased. It makes so much more sense for me to live in Asheville. I am confidant.

Darling, I can barely remember you beside me
You should come back home, back on your own now

self imposed homesickness

2009-05-25T16:32:00.003-04:00

Listening to Fleet Foxes on a lonely and overcast Sunday in the city is just like shooting myself in the foot. I did buy a ticket to their show here in July, though who knows if I'll actually be here to go see it. Today is a move-back-to-Asheville type of day.

Staying in DC for memorial day was a mistake. Everyone is busy or gone.

I should go for a bike ride so that I don't dissolve completely in loneliness and regret. Ugh. Stay busy, stay busy.

I will go ride my bike down to Adam's Morgan I think, that will help me feel better.

The Merry Blues

2009-05-24T13:25:00.008-04:00

I returned to Asheville last weekend to celebrate graduation at Warren Wilson with friends- it turned out to be a huge 1-year-out-of-college reunion for a lot of folks. I was so ecstatically happy for a couple days- it feels so good to be manically happy after looking forward to something for so long. Seeing my boyfriend was also so good- I miss him every day. I have a lot of guilt for moving away, though I know that if I had stayed down there until he finished school I would have resented myself/him. I really had too much fun in Asheville, I knew it would happen. Right when I feel good about living in DC and charting a new course I go back and screw it all up with those intoxicating mountains, bearded men, and bluegrass. I almost wish Asheville were so far away that I really couldn't return, just so that temptation wouldn't be there and I could be left to forge a new existence without being foiled in one visit.

I am filled with a constant dilemma. Every day, I think about whether I should keep on with my new life in DC or if I should move back to Asheville. There are such wonderful advantages to both places. It was a very easy decision before I made good friends in DC- just wait out my lease here and then go back. Now I have people that make me happy here- I love the independence I have in the city- no car, easy access to whatever I want, always fun things going on and places to explore. It seems like I meet new people all the time who are really smart and successful. My old friends are constantly visiting me here- it is rare that I am alone. At the same time, the city can be grating on me. It's hard to get out of the concrete when you really want to- I feel awkward about listening to My Morning Jacket and Fleet Foxes, it is honestly inappropriate to listen to that stuff in a city. I miss the watchful mountains of Western NC and the familiar faces and places there. I miss being close to my mom, and boyfriend, too. I know I would be happy in both places- that is the biggest problem. Which would make me happiest? I was always under the impression that after college life is glamorous and easy, you set yourself up and just go. It is like that sometimes- but there are always problems. It would be so much easier to not get so attached to people and places. At least I got out of South Carolina and have no desire to return.

I suppose the answer is just to continue the wait for my lease to go up- see how the summer goes. My job is miserable, so that does have a large influence. Today, I lean toward staying in DC. Tomorrow, we'll see. The answer is always "wait and see what happens" for EVERYTHING.

I also am aware of what I have termed "Asheville Disease" - which is a disease that affects those who have visited or lived in Asheville and fell in love with it but can't find a way to return. Those of us who live every day with the pull to go back but no opportunity for a decent job there or some other obstacle that keeps us where we are. Asheville Disease is made worse by going back, of course. There is another saying about Warren Wilson graduates- there are two types. The ones that stay in Asheville and can't find a job and the ones that leave Asheville, have a job, but are just trying to go back. This is so true it is pathetic. It's nice to not be alone in my illness, though.

I am also finally aware of the fact that choosing Warren Wilson College was the best possible decision I could have made about where to go to school. It took this long to realize it, but a big thank you to 18-year-old Elizabeth is in order. Seriously, I went to the perfect school for me. I have no regrets about it and I don't think I would have been happier anywhere else. There were times when I thought about transferring- but I found the people that I needed to learn and to grow so it worked out. It makes paying the loans not so terrible.

I am also aware now that there are way more people reading this blog than I thought. I'll try to update it more. I know I always say that.

On the day that I turned 23

2009-05-20T01:19:00.004-04:00

This song has made me fall in love pretty badly. I like listening to it without the video- though the video is ok. More updates about falling love with other things later.

Dumpster Diving

2009-05-11T19:46:00.019-04:00

So, it's university move-out season. Now that I'm not in school anymore I decided to get in on some dumpster diving to see what I could find. These pictures are of all the loot I found over 4 days. Let it be known that I am careful in a dumpster and I don't take anything unless it's coming from a reasonably clean bag of trash/box, etc. I may write more about how to dumpster dive soon- it is certainly worth it!

Day 4: tree wall paper, record coasters, Office DVD, Macbook (broken to hell), bed risers, paint, nike sweatband still in package, apple earbuds, dryer sheets, pens, books
Darth Vader mask, crown, origami paper...
Lots of cool clothes...
A LOT of Garnier Fruictese hair products, dish soap, hand soap, advil, lots of facewashes, hairties...
Clorox wipes, dryer sheets....
lots of food! Ramen, oatmeal, hot sauce (2 kinds!), lots of granola bars and snacks, 6 beers, organic canned soups....
2 Sigg water bottles, tupper wear, sandwich bags, lottsss of snack nori, more bars...

Day 3: paper towels, mac and cheese, candy, lots of easy mac, running shoes in my size, bars, lottss of kid clif bars, a big box of organic animal crackers, tons of aleve medicine packs...
a recycling bin (WHAT THE HELL, GUYS?!), a turtle basket, two umbrellas
5 bras!
Day 2: basically all of Trader Joe's was in the trash.. organic everything!!!

lots of laundry things and hair products, an entire pack of first class stamps (?!), 4 DC metro cards with money on them...
north face backpack!!
This was from day 1:

In addition to all this my friends and I found a LOT of textbooks (there are two boxes of them in my hallway). We are going to sell all of them and split the money. Awesome town! So let this be a lesson to you all to reduce what you buy, reuse what you have, and for goodness sake recycle everything else. This stuff was ALL IN DUMPSTERS OR TRASH AREAS. Unbelievable!

Hopefully I'll update the blog more often. I want to do a segment about crazy deals I find at Goodwill and dumpster trips.

not ok

2009-03-30T23:44:00.001-04:00

I am having a hard time.

this wilderness needs to get right out of my clothes and get into my bedroom.

2009-03-25T22:16:00.004-04:00

I was walking home from where the bus lets me off (I was returning home from the Freeminds Book Club "Friendraiser" at Marvin*) when as I approach my stoop I see a cute dog walking around. No leash, no owner, just walking around. It came up to me and I pet it and it was really sweet. It looked like a puppy but kind of a big puppy. Really nice dog. I walked up the stairs to my door and the dog followed me! I sat down and pet it and talked to it and it didn't have a collar but it was obvious that this dog had been socialized with people. So cute!

It ran to another stoop where a woman was on the phone, she yelled to me "is that your dog?" and I said "no" and she said she was calling animal control. That made me so sad- I sat and pet the dog for some more and tried to take a picture to show it to my boyfriend. I came inside so that I wouldn't be so tempted to keep it. I was SO CLOSE TO BRINGING THAT DOG INSIDE. I want a dog so bad! And I'm pretty sure animal control puts animals to sleep if no on adopts them really fast... so I'm feeling really sick about it now... but I'm pretty sure that since it is still a puppy and it's so friendly and cute that someone will adopt it quickly. aw. I came inside and spewed that whole story to my roommate and almost cried.

I'm at a time in my life where I really want a dog for the companionship and consistency (since both of those things are kind of up in the air right now) but I live in a small apartment, I don't come straight home from work all the time, I can't come home for lunch to let it out, I travel spontaneously... the list goes on. Bad idea to bring a pet that needs a lot of love into the mix. I am still considering getting a hamster, though. They don't mind being alone and you can leave them for a pretty long amount of time and they are ok. Really I want a dog, though.

*Marvin is a really cool bar near U street in DC. It is a Marvin Gaye tribute bar. I can't even believe that exists and the fact that it does exist and that it is VERY CLASSY AND NICE just floors me. They served chicken and waffles and ribs at the fundraiser..... my first chicken and waffles! Marvin is is specifically devoted to a period in Marvin Gaye's life when he moved to Belgium to kind of "regroup" so they serve Belgian beer (my favorite!)

lyrics I can relate to

2009-03-24T22:54:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.

-MGMT

Exotic Travels

2009-03-17T19:39:00.008-04:00

I went to New York City and had fun times with two of my best girls. I love my work schedule when I get my 3 day weekend! It makes my life come back to me. Like this:

I went to Atlanta for my cousin's wedding. I saw a lot of my crazy family. The wedding was fun and I tried a Long Island Iced Tea for the first time. Let it be known: it is not tea. This was a very classy Jewish wedding- like... something you'd see on a wedding show type classy. It made me think a lot about how I want my wedding to be. It won't really be classy at all I think, some parts will be classy, but mostly I think it will be a ho-down. I love classy, don't get me wrong, I just don't think I want to drop the kind of money that classy costs. I'd rather have a bluegrass band and like 5 kegs and a barn and some mountains and maybe a potluck. Yeaaaaah. But this wedding was really fun, everyone was very happy!

I went to the new Georgia Aquarium while I was there. It was great! They have 3 Beluga Whales and 4 Whale Sharks. They have river otters AND sea otters. There were about 8000 little kids but I managed to see what I wanted to see (the whale sharks). They are kind of hard to miss.

(There is not a whale shark in either of these pictures. You have to find out for yourself what they look like! I'm not spoiling it!!!!)

So I've been listening to some new (to me) stuff that makes for a great early-spring playlist.

M. Ward - Jailbird
M. Ward - Hi Fi
M. Ward - Never had Nobody Like You
M. Ward - Chinese Translation
Brigitte Bardot - Moi Je Joui
Animal Collective - Lion in a Coma
Fiction Family - When She's Near
The Shins - Sleeping Lessons
Feist - Sealion (Chromeo Remix)

I know I'm behind the times- when I get sad I quit listening to music, too. I'm back.

Be good to your daughters

2009-03-10T23:24:00.003-04:00

Today I got some really great news that implies that I will be going to New York City this weekend. That means adventure and bagels. I am about to jump out of myself over the good news- which I won't share here but if you know me in real life I'll gladly tell you.

So, in case anyone was wondering, Chinatown bus travel is easy, cheap, and sometimes comfortable. I go back and forth to New York this way, usually using Megabus or Boltbus- but sometimes the other "lesser" Chinatown companies that are cheaper or more convenient. Megabus and Boltbus both have very clean buses and free wifi on the bus. Boltbus is always on time. Megabus isn't. Tickets are usually around $20 one way but if you book them early enough (like.... a month in advance) Megabus sells some tickets for $1-$8. Some people claim to have had very bad and terrifying experiences on Chinatown buses but I have yet to have had one. It seems like everyone knows a Chinatown bus terror story .. but when it comes down to it the guy who was stabbed to death and then decapitated on a bus was on a greyhound bus in Canada.. not a Chinatown bus.

In other news I ate Amsterdam Falafel again tonight and it was AWESOME.

Memories Made in the Coldest Winter

2009-03-09T20:56:00.019-04:00

I realize I have semi-abandoned this blog. I tend to do that when I get too busy (true) or when I get really sad (also true). I think I will just pick up this blog from current life- if I tried to brief the interwebs about the past two months it would be too much. Instead, I will leave you with a sort of photoblog of my absence and I will just start writing from the here and now. yaaaaay.

This past weekend my buddy A came up from Raleigh to visit! It was perfect timing because I've been super down and sad about the weather, job issues, homesickness for my boyfriend / western NC, etc. Winter is way harder than I ever expected- I've always enjoyed winter a lot. When Spring didn't suddenly appear at the end of February I was really thrown off. I'm spoiled.

So A and I went to the Library of Congress with her boyfriend F (both of them are getting their degrees in Library Science). That was pretty cool- but not as cool as the BABY GORILLA we saw at the National Zoo (!!!!!!!!!!) We also saw sleeping otters. And a cute otter statue. And PANDAS. and RED PANDAS. PANDAS!!!

We spent a lot of time in Adam's Morgan- so of course we went to Amsterdam Falafel- the most awesome food EVER. You get a pita with falafels in it that they FRY TO ORDER and then you get to put all the toppings you want on it. Oh man, I could eat that every day. It's also cheap and they have really good fries.

We walked a lot over the weekend- it makes my feet tired but it makes my legs feel good. It was so warm over the weekend and for most of today- my mood has improved a lot. Feeling a breeze on my legs is enough to change my outlook on life, if only for a little while. The entire city smells different when it warms up, maybe it's the daffodils or maybe it's the fact that I can actually smell things and my nose isn't running constantly. I cry and whine about winter in DC, I know it's nothing that bad- but we did have 8 inches of snow a week ago and I didn't have any delays in work or anything. I think that validates my crying and whining at least a little bit.

Work has been strange lately. I'm not going to say much on this most public of all venues- but I feel it must be known on my blog that the real world is not "glamorous" at all. The only glamorous part is not having homework and getting a paycheck. Realizing this and accepting it can be very difficult, and can raise many more questions and decisions to be made. I am constantly searching for happiness and ways to fake my own happiness.

Here is my current list of fake happiness (temporary happiness that fools you into short term happiness):
exercising
reeses (easter egg reeses are especially good)
hair mousse
alcohol
sunshine
surfing petfinder.com
calculating airfares
google image searching sealions or groundhogs

I can go on. I am trying to get happy- re-starting this blog is a sign of that. Spring is sure to help out: new opportunities, lots of friends to see- there is always something to be done or someone to visit. I predict some great changes coming. I am joining a kickball league. Hibernation is over!

Wahhh

2009-01-12T07:56:00.000-05:00

I hate going back to work after the weekend. Everyone is in a bad mood. Oh, to be Paris Hilton.

This weekend = big plans. Probably the biggest party of my life. I am sad that I have to choose whether to get a good spot at the swearing in or at the parade. I think I choose the swearing in. That way I can try and shove my way in at the parade while Obama eats lunch. That means I need to bring lunch. Where on earth are all these people going to pee? Where am I going to pee?

I need to get pumped about monday funday. The best 4 day weekend is looming in the distance!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Union Station

2009-01-08T21:27:00.005-05:00

Every day I purposely exit the metro in Union Station so that I get to walk through the inside of Union Station. I have several reasons for doing this.

So that I can stay out of the cold weather for as long as possible- walking through Union Station is at least an entire block that I can preserve the feeling in my fingers, toes, and ears.
To see the gobs of 8th graders from all over the country making their required pilgrimage to our nation's capitol. I always know who they are by their matching brightly colored t shirts and the ridiculous cliques of hip girls, nerdy boys, fat goths, etc. They are extremely hard to walk around because they won't split up their clique pack for anything. They also have no idea about the flow of foot traffic.
To see the tourists in general. They are always taking pictures of the ceiling or videotaping their girlfriend and it's fun to walk by them really fast with a scowl. "Silly tourists, I work here! Get out of my way." This is also fun to do with the hordes of 8th graders.
Window shopping. On my path out of Union Station I pass by an Au Bon Pan (look at the bread and pastries), a Borders, a Nine West (love the shoe displays), an Origins, The Body Shop, a Swarovski crystal store (right now they have a display of crystal gorillas?) a chocolate store, and a weird cart that sells coffee. Some days I enjoy the whiff of perfume waifting from The Body Shop but some days it makes me really nauseous.

I am sad because at Christmas when I would come out of the train part and into the big hall there was a HUGE Christmas tree glowing. It made me so happy. There was also a model train set, a player piano, and three giant (GIANT) wreaths out front. Now all that is gone. Yesterday they took down the wreaths and were hammering and fussing to take the train apart. I come out expecting to see the Christmas tree now and since it's not there I get so disappointed.

disgusting day

2009-01-07T17:59:00.003-05:00

Today was all kinds of suck. It's been cold and pouring rain all day. This morning I had a stupid orientation meeting. This afternoon after I worked out at the gym during my lunch hour I found out I won't have the alternative work schedule that everyone else is getting because of really stupid bureaucratic crap. It all has to do with pay scales, job classifications, federal laws, and ridiculousness. I swear to god, for all the benefits you get for working for the government you have to put up with a LOT of STRICT bullshit. The most strict, unflexable, uncaring bunch of shit ever. So now I may be working a regular 8 hour a day 40 hour week and then work 4 days for 10 hours and have that Friday off. I guess something is better than nothing, but the other schedule would have been way better (8 days of 9 hours, 1 day of 8 hours, one day off every two weeks).

SO THEN after all that stupid drama at work and all the rain and misery outside, I finally settle into my evening commute. I'm reading Christmas on Ice by David Sedaris, which is hysterical, and I was so glad to go home. I had just gotten on the train and read about a page when I heard a weird sound and looked up only to see a guy across from me PUKING A SHITTON OF APPLE JUICE AND WEIRD WHITE THINGS ALL OVER THE TRAIN CAR. Seriously, I was about three inches from getting splatter on my shoes. Now I feel sick from having seen that / smelled that / sat on the train with that for another two stops. What the fuck? Seriously? That is the sickest thing ever!!! I have the worst metro luck sometimes!! When that happened everyone on the car was SILENT. Ususally there are some conversations going on in the evening. When I got off I went to the train driver and said "Um.. someone just threw up on that car." and the guy kind of smiled and shook his head and said "thanks for letting me know." I think when that happens they have to clean it up immediately and the trains all get backed up (bad news at rush hour).

Oh man. What a stupid ass day. Thank god my favorite MTV True Life is on (True Life: I'm a Cheerleader). I can't believe they still play this stuff, these episodes are from when I was in high school.

I can't stop sneezing; I am so depressed.

2009-01-06T22:01:00.009-05:00

So, an update that is not me whining from my blackberry. Christmas and New Years were GREAT because I didn't have to work and there were great people to hang out with at home. My mom and I had our annual Christmas party (even though it was after Christmas this year) and it was surprisingly not as awkward as usual. I think because everyone is growing up it's just ok to be who we are and catch up, high school grudges and hangups aside.

I visited some family for Christmas. My grandmother gave me the world's smallest food processor and world's smallest rice cooker (!!!!) so maybe after I read how to use the things I will be eating something other than PB&J and stir-fry. It came to my attention while I was at home that many of my comrades who are now in the working world don't cook or bring their lunch. This idea has never crossed my mind, probably because I hate eating out a lot and I'm also too cheap. It made me realize how much I hate eating out. My mom reminded me that I even hated it when I was little. I like going out with friends and on weekends and stuff.

Anyways. After lots of fights with my mom (and her sudden flight to Birmingham, AL with her boyfriend?!), quality time at my boyfriend's house playing Wii, and perusing the after Christmas sales (see, Dolla Saver), I went to Asheville with my boyfriend. We went to the J Crew CLEARANCE CENTER which is part of the J CREW DISTRIBUTION CENTER FOR THE SOUTH EAST. When I was done throwing up all over myself out of excitement I picked out a pair of earmuffs that I'd been eyeing at the regular J Crew store that were $50 but at the special clearance store they were $10!!! I also got a wool dress for $35 for those cold ass days when I am tired of wearing pants. That place is seriously awesome. Even my bf got a sweater! Probably because I made him stay in there for 2 hours.

On New Years Eve I drank gin and tonics with friends and we rang in the new year on the top of an apartment building overlooking the city. It was really nice celebrating new years without a tv.

We saw a weird new years caterpillar thing (oh Asheville).

Afterwards we went to a bar (The Z Lounge) and danced and watched the hilarious people in there.

On New Years Day we cooked collards and pork chops and hoppin' john and we slothed around all day. It was glorious. The next day me and the boyfriend and I drove down Warren Wilson Road and I stocked up on almond butter from Amazing Savings (discount gourmet grocery store that is my life-force). We ate at Burgermeisters (awesome) and drove home. I really didn't want to leave.

After that I made a trip to the Clearance Goodwill, where you can buy Goodwill items by the pound ($1.00/pound). There, sparkling and new was a Bernina Bernette 50 sewing machine in perfect working condition for $25. I packed that sucker up and hauled it to DC in my carry-on bag. The machine I was planning on bringing back was one of those old Singers that is made of solid metal. They are awesome machines because they can sew through anything (concrete, leather, moonbeams) but they weight approx. 150 lbs. So finding a nice nice lighter machine was extremely good luck. It was my Christmas present from Goodwill. I'm planning on sewing ugly/cute stuffed animals, bags, wallets, ipod holders, etc. very soon. Ideas/things to copy are welcome.

New years in Asheville was great and terrible at the same time. I realized that I really really need to move back there. ASAP. Which is still at least 2 years down the line. I am honestly sick and miserable right now to be back in DC. I feel so dumb for thinking that I would be ok living without the Western NC mountains. I am concentrating on enjoying myself while I am in DC and making a career for myself so that when I move back I can do something other than being a waitress. I also have a cold right now (round II, cool) that is making me even more miserable. It's hard to return to work- no one tells you when you're in school that you are being trained to be a cog in a giant machine that there is no way out of. Well, there are many ways out, but not if you have college loans. I guess there are my two goals: 1. build my career 2. pay off college loans. New Years Resolution 2009: pave the road back to Asheville.

Back to work

2009-01-05T07:41:00.000-05:00

Oh, oh, back to work. I almost forgot how the metro worked (not). Thankfully it's not so cold in the capitol city today.

I flew with my new sewing machine that I purchased at the clearence goodwill for $25 (a Bernina Bernette 50). I am depending solely on the hope that sewing will keep me out of an all consuming depression and homesickness for western North Carolina. I guess the sunrise over the Potomic isn't so bad.

I need a DC crew really bad. Off to work for me.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wait

2008-12-30T14:12:00.000-05:00

I'm waiting in the dentists office. I still can't believe I had to schedule this over my break in order for me to use sick leave. So dumb but whatever. Gotta do what I gotta do. Being home has been great with the exception of my mom, who has gone officially crazy. We are not getting along.

Oh dentist. I hope I still don't have any wisdom teeth.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Fw: Columbia sucks: proof

2008-12-23T09:15:00.002-05:00

The city where I grew up was written up in the New York Times <http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/22/business/economy/22columbia.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=Columbia%2520SC&st=cse> yesterday. I told you guys it sucked down there! Ugh. I still CAN'T WAIT TO GO THERE IN 13 HOURS!! Only 13 hours!!!!

Also last night I hung out in Takoma Park and it is the Asheville of DC. Thank god I finally found it. I've been wondering where the hippies were.

cheap ass awesome

2008-12-23T00:53:00.002-05:00

I just saved $40 by cutting my own hair. All I wanted was to fix my bangs. So easy!!!!!

internet whore

2008-12-22T00:41:00.002-05:00

toothpastefordinner.com

Hi yes I now have twitter and I can blog and tweet from my phone. I am really dumb and a nerd.

haikus of the week

2008-12-22T00:22:00.004-05:00

still sick with a cold
I hate everything ever
ready to go home

Christmas shopping time
finding cool things for people
did not get it done

online shopping click
your order will be shipped soon
the best thing ever

two more days of work
hopefully time will pass fast
I am over it

I need to get paid
rent is very expensive
cold medicine too

dishwasher is broke
what are we going to do now
wash wash wash wash wash

so close to the end
I can feel the plane leaving
Christmas don't be late

NYC weekend of awesome

2008-12-15T20:50:00.009-05:00

Oh, oh. I don't even remember what happened last week. Friday night I skipped town and took a bus to New York City! I met up with C (who lives there) and we made preparations to have as much fun as possible over the next couple days. It's basically the most awesome thing in life that I can take a bus to NYC whenever I want for round trip $35-$40. It's a 4.5-5 hour bus ride, which is a little grueling after that 3rd hour, but man! Way worth it!

She lives in Brooklyn and I am officially and huge fan of "BK" - the non scary neighborhoods are way hip. On Saturday we went to Manhattan for some Christmas shopping. We hit up the Evolution Store, which was AWESOME - basically a standard Natural History Museum but all for sale. It was kind of weird because they have human skeletons for sale- how does that work? They had lots of seashells and rocks, freeze-dried animals, nuts, bones, way cool stuff. I found Christmas tree incense!!!

We also went to the Dwell Sample Sale because C works at Dwell!!! It was so much fun!!! The stuff there is so high end and unavailable to us (for real rich people cuteness) but since it was the sale we could actually buy stuff. I got this AWESOME weekend bag so that when I go to NYC every single weekend in the future I can use my way hip WEEKENDER. I'm pretty sure it would be the first bag stolen off the bus if a thief happened to be around when I'm traveling- but luckily I made it through the trip home. I got a lot of Christmas shopping done there which is way sweet since Christmas is 10 days away (?!!!)

C and I looked in lots of other stores and had super amounts of fun looking at all the crap that you can only get in NYC. We went to a holiday market and a farmers market that had TONS OF LOCAL APPLES for way cheaper than at the stupid Eastern Market in DC (ugh!) AND hot apple cider?!! omg. I got a huge thing of apple cider. Then we hung out with some really fat NYC squirrels. City squirrels really are the coolest because they are fatter and they are pretty tame. At that point two of the best things in life encountered each other, drinking fresh apple cider with some fatty squirrels. Way cool. We could say, "HEY SQUIRREL, HEY!" and they would come to you!!!

We met up with my homegirl L (from college) which was AMAZING because I hadn't seen her in a year! We went to a really cool Indian restaurant called Milon. It was really crazy, there are so many Christmas lights and pepper lights that you hit your head on them inside. They play crazy remixes of Indian music and if it's your birthday they have strobe lights and a special remix of happy birthday!! The food was very mild, which was kind of nice for Indian food because that way I could use all of the sauces on it without it being too spicy. I'm an official fan. Not to mention that it was super cheap. Afterwards we walked around (I had no idea where we were) and went to a bar.

Saturday was also Santacon for NYC. Santacon is a "Santa Convention" where anyone who wants to dresses up like Santa and meets somewhere and goes bar hopping all day long. Seriously, it starts at 10AM. We saw Santas EVERYWHERE. I tried and tried to find out where all the Santas were- I asked all the Santas I saw. They were all either too drunk to tell me or remember or they didn't know themselves. I even gave my phone number to a Santa to call me when he found the other Santas. Oh, Santas.

On Sunday we went to a cool "flea market" in Brooklyn which was a bunch of vintage and indie hipster vendors selling really cool crap. I miss that kind of stuff in DC; there is way more art and arty kind of stuff going on with young people in NYC. DC is very much suit-oriented, even with the young people. I love NYC with a thousand hearts but I will never trade the DC metro system for anything. We had a "fear/love" scale at my old job at Warren Wilson where you rate random things according to your fear or love of it. On my fear and love scale the NYC subway is way way way far down on fear. It is like a giant bathroom under the city, complete with bathroom tile. Holy god, I still have absolutely no clue where we were or where we went on it.

It'd be cool to have a fear/love scale for the blog. Maybe I will construct an image that will live on the side bar or something and as I blog I will add things to the fear/love scale. I miss that thing.

So all the fun wound down and I had to go to Chinatown to catch a Chinatown bus to go back to DC. Of course I hit up one of the Chinatown grocery stores because they have the most interesting stuff that you have never seen. I stocked up on Hi Chews and boarded the mean long bus back to DC. Now I have a cold and I came home from work early. This week seriously needs to speed up because Christmas vacation is SO CLOSE. I'm back to slothing on the couch watching John and Kate + 8.

Merry Christmas, walrus playing saxaphone

2008-12-09T19:05:00.003-05:00

There is a dead pigeon in Union Station that I have seen for two days now. It's tucked in a corner. I think it probably got too cold; the highs were in the 30's for the past few days. I feel really sad about it when I see it because I know that the pigeon will end up in the trash and will never be buried in the dirt (unless I do it). At least it won't go to a landfill- all of DC's trash goes to a waste-to-energy incineration plant.

I came home from work early today because I started feeling crummy. I feel even more crummy after trying to sleep it off- I don't know what the deal is. It was great coming home during daylight, though.

My roommate E and I are going to New York City this weekend. I'm super excited, I'm going to stay with my friend C and take on the City. I'm the most excited to see NYC at Christmastime, I've always wanted to be there at this time of year- it seems so romantic and magical. I want to see the big Christmas tree and I also want to become unafraid of the NYC subway. As it stands I fear it more than any other public transportation / most things in life.

Tonight I discovered a big leak in the ceiling of the bathroom. Maybe we'll get a break in rent or something. This past weekend my roommate E's mom came to visit so we finally tried to decorate. We've put it off for EVER. I took the time to really get my room in shape and now I'm really liking it. It looks like Urban Outfitters and Ikea had a fight in here. I'm pleased. I got a really nice wool carved oriental rug at a church yard sale a while back and it looks nice in here. It reminds me of home a lot, even unconsciously because as soon as I put it down I starting throwing my clothes on it. We hung some pictures up in the living room but it's starting to look a little too grown up I think, I like more tacky and hilarious stuff. We did get a silver tinsil fiber optic Christmas tree at Target, so that helps.

I've adopted the huge Christmas tree in Union Station kind of as my Christmas tree for now. It's really big and it's decorated with US and Sweedish (?) flags. They also have a player piano next to it and every time I walk by it it's playing Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. I don't know if that's because I walk by it at the exact same time every day or if it's because the piano only plays 2 or 3 songs. One day maybe I'll wait around and investigate it.

I wish I could tell work stories on here, because that would make this blog 8000x more interesting, but I don't want to jepordize my job. Maybe if there is enough interest I can create a password protected thing. Send me a message or comment if you'd be interested.

I'll leave you with this, because it is basically the funniest thing ever:

All my friends, I've returned to sister winter

2008-12-04T20:41:00.007-05:00

I've been overwhelmingly homesick since Thanksgiving. Partly because coming back to my job was not exactly thrilling and partly because my roommate's boyfriend dumped her on Sunday. It was really strange and out of the blue. It makes me want to just go where my boyfriend is and make sure that that won't happen to me. It is so sad!

Last night we went out to Tombs, the college bar that serves all the Georgetown students. Sometimes I forget how important and famous DC crap is- Tombs was Bill Clinton's favorite restaurant when he went to Georgetown, the bar in the movie St. Elmo's Fire was based on, etc etc. I am a fan. Apparently, you get your name on a plaque behind the bar if you go to Tombs every night for the 99 nights before graduating from Georgetown. You can miss two nights. If you miss a night, you can make up for it by staying from open to close, 10AM to like.. 2AM the next day. Sounds pretty fun. Anyway, hanging out last night with my roommate E and her brother (who went to Georgetown) and all his old friends was a lot like how things are set up in St. Elmo's Fire- they knew all the bartenders because they went to school with most of them, they knew people eating and drinking there- it was really fun. I also was introduced to Busch Light (to the shock of everyone at the table). I can't help it if I was raised on PBR. Also, there IS NO PBR IN THIS TOWN.

For all the young professionals living far away from where you celebrate holidays and anyone else who may travel- I present to you airfarewatchdog. Sign up for the email alerts and be prepared to hate every plane ticket you've ever bought previously. I know I do.

The theme music to The Office is basically the most wonderful music to exist since The Nutcracker.

More on music: I am currently listening to Sufjan Stevens' Christmas album on repeat. I must get as much listening in in the time I have during the Christmas season. I swear to God, Sufjan will make you feel ecstatically happy and feeling like you're going to cry big whale tears at the same time. His Christmas album is a mix of old favorites, traditional stuff (good stuff) and his own cute Christmas songs. Sufjan is the man. I will post some lyrics to prove that Sufjan is the man:

From It's Christmas! Lets be Glad!:

Since the year is almost out
Left your hands and give a shout
There's a lot to shout about today

Since it's Christmas, let's be glad
Even if the year's been bad
There are presents to be had
A promotion for your dad
Don't be angry don't be mad

I also listen to The Nutcracker, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and any Christmas song sung by the Jackson 5.

PS- the squirrels here are so tame!! and fat.

visitors, thanksgiving, ringtones

2008-11-29T02:00:00.004-05:00

I've finally really started to calm down after the move, the new job, etc. I know this because I've started making themed playlists again. In college I made playlists of songs about mountains, songs with clapping in them, stuff like that. Now I'm working on a playlist related to public transportation (or travel in general) and a playlist with songs that include something about Washington in them. When they fill themselves out I'll be sure to report my findings.

So since my last post I've had several visitors. I hope that my life in Washington always has this many visitors, every weekend someone new comes up for one reason or another! RW came up a while ago for a little and we combed Georgetown for things that were remotely affordable (ha!)

My boyfriend was up to visit for the past week- I had to work for a lot of it though which was disappointing and also disturbing. I've never had to ditch someone for entire days like that. I've always been able to move my schedule around. It was nice anyway, we ate lots of good food and explored some great stuff. Unbeknownst to us, there was a Georgia O'Keeffe and Ansel Adams exhibit at the Smithsonian American Art Museum that we happened to stumble upon. That worked out really nicely since my boyfriend is a big fan of Ansel Adams (consequently I am becoming more appreciative, too). There is also a nice folk art section in the American Art Museum, I'm just waiting for the day when our beloved South Carolina Chicken Man (Ernest Lee) gets some of his chickens in there. When I bought a couple chickens from him in October he (Ernest) talked to me for a long time about when he lived in DC and how bad the crime is. Apparently he used to work not far from my apartment!

I was introduced to Tryst (near Dupont Circle/Adams Morgan) by some college friends and I am a fan. Although the place was PACKED when we went, once you do find a seat you understand why no one wants to leave. It's a coffee shop / bar that is super mellow with cozy couches and free internet.

I also decided that I officially have a new favorite food. Panang Curry. You can get it in most Thai restaurants. It is AWESOME if you like the sweet/hot combination, kind of nutty, creamy, mmm so good.

So I flew home for Thanksgiving and I've been hanging out with my mom. It's nice spending time with her. Sometimes when I come home though, I get really really stressed out about nothing at all. Stress just pulses through me and I don't want to hang out with anyone and I don't want to listen to my mom talk and I am mean. It feels like I just need to get out or I want to get out of Columbia, even though I don't because I just got here. I have problems. A lot of my Thanksgiving felt like that. Some breaks aren't like that at all.

So I've been busy making my own ringtones- I usually just sample songs (usually the beginning of songs) on Wavepad and then transfer them to the phone. so far the best songs for ringtones are:

Crayons - Caribou (this has been G's ringtone for a long time, it is seriously the best)
Cemetery - Architecture in Helsinki
Spring 2008 - Architecture in Helsinki
Ready to Die - Andrew WK (only the very beginning of this one)

If you have any ideas for a good ringtone please comment!!!!!

My friends and Beyonce

2008-11-11T23:43:00.007-05:00

So this past weekend my friends C (different C) and G came to visit me! They came in on Friday and we had some fab. adventures around DC town. Friday night G and I ate dinner at the White Tiger, an Indian restaurant near my place. The food was great but the service was weird. Saturday we slept in and then ate breakfast at the cute little bagel place around the corner (AWESOME), and then went to a yard sale. No luck there so then we went to Eastern Market. Eastern Market is basically the best place to be in DC on a Saturday morning, if you've already paid a visit to the bagel place. There are produce stands and one of them has a lot of local apples for sale- they have samples of all the apples so we stood around there and ate a ton of apples. Those pictures are a couple I took on one of our walks. Cute little pigeon knows where it's at!

After another yard sale we got a call from P, another friend, who apparently had a layover in a DC airport, we assumed it was in Dulles (which is far far from DC) but he was actually in Regan! So he came and we had more fun times. We visited the Oceans, Rivers, and Skies exhibit at the National Gallery and prowled around some in there.

P had to continue his flight before long so C and G and I headed back to the apartment. We had dinner at Good Stuff and it was AWESOME like usual. Then we had a cookies and beer party and a bunch of people showed up (?!) but we were too tired to really enjoy it.

Sunday we ate lunch at an awesome Thai place in Chinatown that I am most definitely returning to. C and G left shortly after that but it was so good to see them.

Today I had the day off because of Veteran's Day!! I didn't do much. I do want to post this music video. Now, I haven't watched music videos in at least 5 years, but this one was sent to me and I LOVE IT. I've always liked Beyonce- the first time I heard this song I thought it was annoying- but it grew on me. The video though, damn. She is one hot lady and she's not the standard tiny girl- such an inspiration to me and I know lots of other young women. Hot!!! I also am posting the Tun Tunak Tun video because I think Beyonce is using some of their moves. If you haven't seen the Tun Tunak Tun video, you gotta. It's amazing!! Watch Tunak first, then Beyonce, to see the full effect of how similar some of the moves are.

Obama! Yes Yes Y'all!

2008-11-05T20:47:00.009-05:00

Obama won!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am still so thrilled I can't even handle all my emotions. One of the first feelings I felt (once I quit screaming) was an overwhelming feeling of protection and safe-ness. Barack won't take away my rights as a woman and Biden will fight for the rights I deserve. I'm so happy. That is only the tip of the iceberg of all the things I'm happy about concerning this election. (HI I CAMPAIGNED FOR AND VOTED FOR THE GUY THAT WON, HOW ABOUT THAT?!)

When I walked to the metro at 7AM to go to work the line to vote at the middle school a block from my apartment was wrapped all the way around the block! The District of Columbia voted 93% for Obama... I am in heaven. I went from South Carolina to 93%... so awesome!!!

C and T came over and I made some "Yes We Can Spaghetti" (success!) and some "Campaign for Change" cupcakes. The cupcakes were good, the colors came out kind of pastel. I need a measuring cup really bad.

So we screamed and toasted and had a lot of fun celebrating. NC STILL has not been called, but it looks like Obama won in the closest race in the country... so my vote did go a long way. Cool. After C and T left I couldn't sleep and was very antsy so I walked to the capitol. It's such a nice walk and so beautiful at night. There is still a lot to be done, we can't ignore the fact that this country is still not accepting of gay people and that will have to change. But for now, I'm just going to be happy about Barack and his cute family. I'll be upset about other things soon enough, anyway. I can't wait till inauguration day!!

Get off your ass and vote for OBAMA!!!!!!!!! OBAMARAMA!!!!!!

2008-11-03T21:15:00.004-05:00

Are you ready to VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!

Today I was so pumped about the election I had a hard time working. All I wanted to do was call in sick and volunteer for Obama. I did volunteer after work- I stood at a corner in Ballston (Arlington, VA) and handed out fliers and told people to not forget to vote. I talked to this woman from Guatemala for a long time and got her to sign up to volunteer tomorrow at a polling place. Apparently she wrote a song about Obama and wants me to help her with the English. Cool!

Vote for Obama!! Vote for Obama!

Tomorrow I'm having a little election time party thing. I am going to cook some "YES WE CAN Spaghetti" and some other delicious Obama themed treats. Ideas are welcome. God, I was going to make some Obama cookies tonight but I'm too tired.

Subway Rat Habitat

2008-11-01T17:54:00.009-04:00

Oh, DC Halloween. I've been curious about how DC celebrates Halloween for a long time. No, people do not dress up for work. Yes, people do dress up at night. I raced home from work to get ready and was looking forward to a short nap to sustain me for the rest of the night but after getting back to the apartment I realized I forgot to pick up my checks at the post office. I had to return to get them because I had to pay rent so I walked all the way back. Waited in line at the post office for a long time, I saw a witch while I was there. On the way back a homeless man shouted at me, "HEY PRECIOUS, YOU GOT SOME CHANGE FOR ME?"

When I came back to the apartment the second time I realized on my walk that the trick-or-treaters were already out collecting their dues! I raced back to throw the Reese's in a bowl and immediately had several little kids at my door. So cute. Does this mean I'm a grown up now? There were way more Hannah Montana's than anything else. One little boy was a dinosaur and when I opened the door he let out a quiet little "raaaaarrrrr".. he must have been 3 years old! So cute.

So I never got my nap. I showered and put my costume on (Subway Rat!!! Rat that rides on the subway...) and walked back out to catch the metro. I knew I was in for it when on my walk through Union Station I saw a HUGE dude dressed like Frankenstein already so wasted that he couldn't walk, he was slumped over on a girl who was two feet shorter than him. Oh, Halloween. There were lots of the slutty college girl costumes (police with cleavage and no real pants to speak of, tinkerbells with magic wands, etc).

I met up with C and T in Dupont for a house party. It was massive- there were probably around 300 people there. I felt really out of place, as did my friends from Warren Wilson. We're just not used to so many people at a party. They had a great DJ if you could even get in the room where people were dancing. They also had bountiful "refreshments" which was nice. There was a girl there dressed up like a bottle of Jagermeister- that was awesome. She even had antlers on. Another guy was dressed as an LOL Cat- he had a sign that said "I CAN HAZ SNUGLEZ?"

We party hopped to another house party that was also really fun. They had a really nice keg of beer in the shower and good chocolate candy. We enjoyed it. THEN we walked to Adam's Morgan and got JUMBO SLICE. Now, I'm pretty sure Jumbo Slice is something only DC peeps know about because I've never heard of it until now. There are several of these shops around areas of active late night activities. You walk in, pay your $4.50, and get a slice of pizza so big that it is served to you on two paper plates.

The pizza is really thin and good and you can put parm and Italian herbs or hot pepper on it. The place was PACKED with all the hungry costumed DC party-goers. C, T, and I sat down and a giant hot dog sat down with us. I remember saying, "HEY... WHY AREN'T YOU EATING HOT DOGS, HOT DOG?" Oh god, what a night.

After trying to get a cab for 800 years we finally got a private driver car who had NO IDEA how to get to Capitol Hill (where I live). Seriously... 45 minutes later we get there after T and I are giving him our own directions.

So today E and I spent recovering from our fun- I was out till 4:00AM so today was pretty shot. We watched re-runs of West Wing and ate candy all day. I celebrated Dia de los Muertos.

I cooked Sam some steak as an offering. I have never cooked steak before but I think I did a really good job! I put it in a skillet with some olive oil, pepper, soy sauce, brown sugar, and chili powder. I liked it , I think she probably did too. So I guess now everyone thinks I'm 100% crazy.. but whatever. It makes me feel better. Feliz dia de los muertos, todos.

So, before all the Halloween candy is eaten I wanted to put up a link to YES WE CARVE- a site dedicated to jackolanterns carved in support of Barack Obama. Kind of the coolest thing ever. Thad showed that to me.

Sarah Palin: Way Better as a Drag Queen

2008-10-28T23:57:00.005-04:00

I just got back from the drag queen race in Dupont Circle (and after party shenanigans). The drag queens were SO AWESOME. There were at least 10 different Sarah Palin's, one Princess Diana (and her security guards), the Washington Monument (?!), Rainbow Brite, and on and on and on. Oh yeah, I can't forget the Victoria's Secret Angels. It was so fun. The race was actually at 9PM but the drag queens just parade and walk around starting at 7 or 8, so T and I met up and tried to find a place where we could see. There were a billion people there. Here are some highlights I took pictures of. This is just something you have to see to understand.

At one point this guy Patrick Mara walked by with an entourage of supporters with big campaign signs. We couldn't see any of the Drag Queens because of the signs and none of them were dressed up and everyone around me was grumbling, so without thinking I shouted, "HEY, WHERE'S YOUR DRESS?!" And the guy, Patrick Mara, turned to me himself and said "It's in my pants.. I'm not wearing underwear" or something crazy like that. haha. Apparently he's running for DC Council and supports equal marriage, so power to him, just don't disrupt my Drag Queen watching.

More pictures later? I've been distracted from this blog post for like 2 days now so. Shit. I am so busy. OK MORE LATER HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y FELIZ DIA DE LOS MUERTOS Y VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!!!!

happy birthday homeless man, I got a free facial

2008-10-27T21:59:00.003-04:00

Another busy day in DC town. Work kind of sucked, partly because of the cold and wet weather (wind chill of 39 degrees? what is Winter like?) and partly because my supervisor can be ridiculous. But it was ok because thanks to Slickdeals.net I found out about a free mini-facial that the Origins store is doing! I made an appointment last week so today after work I went and had my first ever (mini) facial. It was GREAT. And the sales scheme WORKED because now I want EVERYTHING in the Origins store. Did you know their products are all natural, contain no petroleum based ingredients, contain no animal products, and are NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS?!!! So no cancer and no blind bunny rabbits at Origins!! So... that's why it costs so much I guess. Ugh. I'll hit up ebay and see what I can do. Forget clinique.

I was still feeling great from having someone rub my face with nice smelling things when I was walking to the metro and I saw this one homeless man who is always at this stop. He is in a wheelchair and I saw a woman give him some money and I saw him smile really big. Then I saw a little handwritten sign that read "Today is my birthday, I am so blessed!!" and I immediately started digging around for any cash that I had to give him. It was really touching- and I have seen this guy at this metro stop several times. He had a little portable heater plugged in next to his wheel chair today.

Beyond the homeless birthday man is the table where people aggressively get you to sign up for absentee voting. In the past I've just seen the volunteers shouting at all the rush hour metro people to sign up but today... today there was a woman playing a guitar and singing into a mic some song that she was making up on the spot that basically consisted of: "Going to be out of the county on election day... vote absentee .. vote absentee... avoid the lines on election day... vote absentee... vote absentee.... make sure your voice is heard... vote absentee ... vote absentee..." it was irritating and endearing at the same time.

On that note, today I mailed my absentee ballot off to North Carolina where hopefully it will be put to good use in turning North Carolina blue. I got off the metro at Union Station to go home and put it in a mail box outside of the post office. I had a hard time letting it go, it was so unceremonious, not at all like real voting. I wanted to shout afterwards I JUST VOTED, I VOTED EVERYONE! But I didn't. Voting is so special and exciting. I was especially thrilled to vote in Union Station. I'll never get sick of Union Station.

When I got home I made some dinner (E is back!) and then the guy from the yard sale where I bought the two framed pictures brought them over! They are beautiful- I'm very pleased. This weekend, once the Halloween festivities are over, I will hang them up.

Tomorrow is another big day because it is the annual DC Drag Race. Apparently all the drag queens in Washington all come to Dupont Circle the Tuesday before Halloween and parade up and down 17th street and at 7PM there is a HIGH HEELED DRAG QUEEN RACE. I'm there.

Yard Sailing y el Dia de los Muertos

2008-10-26T17:40:00.007-04:00

Today I went to more yard sales with T. We had enormous luck for most of the day- rich people yard sales and items from around the world- my favorites! I got a lot of Christmas presents. It's always good to start working on Christmas presents before you are strapped for cash in December with no ideas. That's the pits. So it was a successful day. It really was a beautiful day (unlike the monsoon that was yesterday) and I wore the exact right thing to enjoy the weather to the fullest. It's days like this that I really dislike my apartment for its lack of windows. The price we pay for living in one of the nicest neighborhoods in DC is that in order for us to afford it we are in a basement apartment. Our windows aren't even windows- they are "light wells." I refer to it as the "time warp" because you never know what time it is when you are inside- it's like a mall. During the week it's fine because we're gone during the day- it's the weekend when I would rather just go out all day while it's light and not be stuck in the time warp.

At the yard sales I found a Holga camera (scenester, I know!), some yarn for household purposes, a great picture frame, a drawing of a fat hippo, two baking sheets, a muffin tin, two cake pans, and a hippo cookie cutter (what's with the hippos today?) and other various christmas present type stuff. Oh, and a great looking Anthropology book: The Anthopology of Media. I love smart yard sales! I couldn't resist that book even though it looked like a text book- it had recycled art on the cover. T and I also cruised the outside parts of Eastern Market, a way cool part of DC near my house that has vendors on the street selling antiques, vegetables, jewelry, international stuff, different things. Yard sales are so fun because the price no longer reflects the actual price of the item- however much it may have cost retail. It takes on a price of the amount of space it takes up vs. how much money the people can actually make off of it. A delicate balance but the winner is always the shopper- if he or she has the space.

Here is a picture of the awesome bumper sticker I got at the Democratic headquarters in VA last week:

I am constructing a shrine / memorial to my dog Sam who died in April. I am still grieving a lot about it because we had her for 16 years- a large part of my life. Since I studied Day of the Dead so much last year for various projects and classes, I've decided to construct a shrine in the theme of Day of the Dead to Sam. Day of the Dead is a holiday celebrated in parts of Latin America- I studied it in Mexico. It is actually Days of the Dead, because it lasts for I think 3 days. It happens every year around the end of October and the beginning of November. The idea is that during that time all the souls of dead people come back to the place where they were buried to "check up" on their family. The families all come home and create lavish feasts and shrines to their dead, cooking their favorite food and offering it to them. People stay up late celebrating the lives of the people they loved- it's a big party that goes on and on. It reminds everyone that the dead are still with us, they never leave for good, and that you are always connected. I read somewhere that it is believed that if you don't put on a good feast and shrine for your dead person they will be offended because all the other dead people will have all their nice feasts and things- and you would never want to disappoint your dead person! They're dead!

So anyways, I'm making a shrine to Sam for Day of the Dead, even though she is not buried here. I think she'll probably come by to see me even though I'm so far from home. It's really hard to build the thing because I'm still so sad about it. I've got a lot of pictures of her and her collar, some special nuts I brought back from Mexico that were used in another ritual, and today I got an icon of Mary at a yard sale. I seriously cry every time I spend any kind of time thinking about it, but it is comforting to know that Sam is still around. I really want to believe in ghosts and Day of the Dead because I want her to still be near me. I'm pretty sure I heard her ghost at home over the summer once or twice. I think a lot of why it was so hard to be at home this summer was because I was trying so hard to avoid thinking about Sam. It's so easy to distract yourself when you're busy- not so much when you have nothing to do at home. Sometimes I am happy and content that Sam is around "spiritually"- and I am happy that she isn't old and weak and having a hard time. But usually I'm just devastatingly sad. Being an only child and she being my one dog that was always around is just really hard. I've never grieved anyone that was this close to me so I guess this is my "learn to grieve" part of my life.

I guess I should also say that I am completely serious about all of this stuff. I am not sure I should even be writing about it on the internet but I'm lonely right now and just need to write. I've never missed someone or been so sad about something in my life.

So ANYWAYS. This weekend was very laid back, but kind of lonely. I'm looking forward to being busy again so that I won't be alone with my thoughts for very long.

Fall Timez

2008-10-25T20:44:00.006-04:00

I really should update this blog more. I have so much stuff going on- there are many things worth blogging about every day!

Last weekend I went to Loudoun county for my friend M's birthday. She has a pet cow named Earnest and he is super huge and cute. We also got lost in a corn maze (corn maize haaa) for over 2 hours. It was the perfect weekend for enjoying Fall outside of the city! The weather was cool and crisp and perfect for the Loudoun Farm Color Tour, which was how we knew about the corn maze and some other stuff we did.

This week I saw another mouse in the metro, near the tracks. In New York City I saw the HUGE subway rats that thrive off of the plentiful food trash everywhere. The DC metro is much cleaner then the NYC one, so I guess the big rats can't survive off of the meager offerings that the mice can. I am going to be a subway rat/mouse for Halloween and I'm excited. Cute little mice. I can't believe their whole existence depends on the litter in the metro system.

On Thursday night my new friend T and I went to see Josh Kornbluth's (of Haiku Tunnel fame) latest one-man monologue called "Citizen Josh" at the Area Stage in Crystal City. It was very politically charged but not just a big rant by any means; it is a narrative of a man and his interest in politics and how it has followed him throughout his life. Mr. Kornbluth is very funny, I laughed out loud.

The Area Stage is a really cool theatre venue in Crystal City and in DC that offers a discount for anyone under 30. The tickets were priced at about $40 but for under 30 they were $10!! We found out why when we were there- all bald men and blue hairs. ha!

This week I also discovered that my checking account was overdrawn when I tried to put more money on my metro card trying to get home from work one day. I knew that wasn't right because basically I'd rather die than have to spend money on overdraft fees... so I keep really good tabs on my money. I figured out that when I bought my airline tickets to go home for Christmas US Airways charged my account TWICE. Apparently they do this often when the charge is "pending" and once the actual charge for the tickets post to your account they only end up charging once. Of course in my case with my piddly checking account (having just begun getting a paycheck and having to buy things like plane tickets for Thanksgiving and Christmas) pretending to charge it double sent it over the edge. My credit union refunded me the overdraft fees and everything worked out- but take heed, readers. Always keep at least twice the amount of an airline ticket in your account if you want to be able to take the train home. God. I had words for the US Air rep I talked to.

I inspected the building that houses the Democratic Headquarters for Virginia last week. It was AWESOME. I got some stickers and signed up to volunteer next week (I encourage all you to do that as well, especially if you are in a swing state COUGH NORTH CAROLINA). I also got my absentee ballot for North Carolina in the mail this week. Get ready Obama! I'm voting for you!! I also love you. I am super pumped for the 30 minute spot Obama bought on all the major TV stations. Obama TV everyone! Must see TV! Get ready!

Today T and I went to a few yard sales and I got two framed posters that are BEAUTIFUL! The people who sold them to me said they were from Venice. Together they were $25 total- a steal! The man also was nice enough to offer to bring them to my apartment since hauling things like that around on the metro is not something possible. After we left that yard sale we went to an overpriced thrift store and then ate lunch at a Ethiopian place- my first taste of Ethiopian food! I liked it. Tomorrow we are going out to more yard sales. Yard sailing is way more fun when you have an apartment to outfit.

I want to put something on here about The Keeper. I know it can be scary talking about menstruation but honestly, it's a part of all women's lives all the time. Even dudes should get over their ick factor and just understand that it's a part of life and it's ok. Anyway, I wanted everyone to know that there are alternatives to tampons - The Keeper is one of them and the other is Diva cup. In my quest toward zero waste I'm trying not to buy anymore tampons- I read that it is estimated that an average woman will use and throw away around 15,000 tampons in her LIFE. That is ABSURD. Especially since most tampons are made of cotton and rayon that is bleached with crap that can give you cancer, endometriosis, etc. SO GIRLS: look into using a tampon alternative! DUDES: educate yourselves, your girlfriends, and quit being so weirded out. IT IS OK.

Roommate E went home this weekend- she found a last minute deal and jumped on it. Lucky! It's quiet around here but things are about to heat up again. Next weekend is Halloween and hopefully the weekend after that I will have some fantastic visitors!

PS I love the comments. Please comment more!! It is encouraging to know that people are reading this.

my new city, my new friend

2008-10-09T23:45:00.003-04:00

DC is still magical, I'm still excited all the time. I figured out where some of the city pigeons sleep: in Union Station! Those lazy bastards are still sleeping when I go to work. I also keep tabs on the gray squirrels that live/work/play near my office.

Yesterday I found a cheap last minute flight to go home for the long weekend. I was never a believer in the whole "last minute" deals but they are REAL. I'm really excited to see my mom and bring things back to the apartment. Also, the South Carolina State Fair is going on now and I GET TO GO! It's like I get fall break just like I did in college!

I have lots of things I want to write about concerning the Pentagon, since that is where I get off of the metro and get on a bus to get to/from work. My internet paranoia has truly reached new heights so I am not going to tell Pentagon stories other than the Monday morning protesters that quietly hold signs right where you get off of the escalator from the metro. I see them at 7:30AM, who knows what time they get there. One week they protested the war in Iraq, this week it was Afrocon. It's really interesting because probably 80-85% of the people who get off at the Pentagon metro on Monday morning at 7:30 work in the Pentagon, and they orchestrate wars and things, so it's a really significant place to protest something. And everyone is always brooding in the morning.

Riding to and from the Pentagon stop so much has made me realize how exciting and scary and hot it is to see all the men and women in their various uniforms going to and from work. I've seen Navy, Army, Airforce, all kinds of uniforms. It's so attractive! I don't know why!

So I guess I have to go pick out my "party shirt" for the last day of customer service week tomorrow. Good grief. At least I don't have to pack a lunch!

Customer Service Week (makes me sick)

2008-10-06T21:10:00.005-04:00

Everyone seemed to blog about the Palin / Biden debate- all I have to say is
1. Who the hell is "Joe Sixpack?"
2. Why isn't anyone talking about women's issues? I'm a woman damnit, and I want to talk about it.
3. Seriously, Palin?

I gotta plug the Good Stuff Eatery. I went there with my roommate E and her brother and her brother's roommate and it is AWESOME. The guy who created it was a contestant on top chef! It's cheap, fast, and one of the best burgers I've ever eaten. If you're ever in DC, I highly recommend it. Don't skip on the fries, either.

Also, my friend R introduced me to Secondi, a great consignment store for women in Dupont Circle. Great prices and really nice stuff. Worth it to visit every now and then to see their ever-changing inventory.

This past weekend I spent mostly just chilling out. On Sunday E and I went to Ikea and I got some stuff for my room. I got a really great desk, a bookshelf, and a lamp. Ikea is cheap and awesome but now I understand why. Putting together Ikea stuff is nothing to laugh at. I didn't really have any problems except for with the bookshelf. I can't wait to go back.

So, I caught a cold. I think this means that I'm becoming comfortable in this new life and the stress is ebbing because my body usually holds off all sickness until the really important stuff is over. For example, fighting off a cold through exams only to get sick over Christmas break.

I went to work this morning anyway, even though I felt like trash. Turns out that in my 2 weeks of work I have earned exactly 2 hours of sick leave. 2 hours isn't 8 hours, so I worked. It sucked. I'm not exactly clear on how this kind of policy is beneficial for anyone because I couldn't do anything productive and I'm pretty sure everyone else in the office will get sick now, creating even more reduced productivity. (slam head on desk now) AND this week is customer service week (bet you didn't know THAT!) So we are "celebrating" by starting work at 7AM tomorrow for some kind of customer service training. We are also supposed to wear themed shirts each day this week. Today was "wear your favorite color" shirt day, tomorrow is sports team shirt day, and Friday is the best. Friday is "happy hour" from 2:15-4 except no alcohol is allowed at work so happy hour is chicken wings, dips(?) and soda. AND you're supposed to wear a "party" shirt. I work in The Office.

Also, since I have cable again for the first time in 4 years+ I have to say that TLC is my favorite channel, besides Bravo of course.

I also need to post that I did end up buying the bed I saw in a craigslist posting and when I went to pick it up the couple gave me basically everything else in their apartment because they were moving. I got a sweet ass deal on a bed, a box spring, a frame, a set of dishes, silverware, a mirror, pots, pans, baking pans, a laundry basket, drawers for underwear/socks and basically everything. Craigslist is my new lifeblood.

New New New New

2008-09-27T18:00:00.005-04:00

Wow, things have changed a lot since my last post. I will try to catch everyone up quickly.

I flew up to Baltimore early on Friday 9/19 and, with all my stuff that I could manage to bring on the plane without paying an extra fee, took bus and train from Baltimore to Alexandria to stay with my friend J and her roommates. I couchsurfed her house and spent every waking moment looking on craigslist for apartments. I was too stressed out and crazed to go to parties and be social, which was frustrating because J and her roommates and friends are really cool. I got really homesick and scared the first night but I've been mostly ok since then.

I took the metro a lot to meet with my roommate, E, who was my childhood best friend from home. We went to school together for 14 years! Back together again! It's so amazing how things come full circle sometimes.

The first apartment we looked at we really liked. We let the landlord know that we wanted to sign the lease and he said he'd get back to us in a day about it. He didn't get back to us! So we sadly gave it up for lost and looked at another mediocre place... I thought I was doomed to couchdom for ever (this feeling occurred day 2 of couch time). But the next day the landlord emailed E and said we got it! We signed a lease on Tuesday and I moved in on Wednesday. I'm still on a couch, but at least it's my couch (the apartment even came with a really nice couch, matching chair, and coffee table!)

So I started my new job on Monday and it has been an adventure. I am a low level bureaucrat in a county government. I am a Commercial Recycling Inspector. I go around and inspect businesses and multi-family homes to make sure they are recycling the way that they are required to to comply with the county RECYCLING LAW. That's right, RECYCLING LAW!!!!!!!!! I am really happy, and EXTREMELY lucky that I got this job. Basically I will be teaching people about recycling all day. I won't be stuck in an office all the time! One main hilarious part is that I do have an office, a cubicle, in a short row of cubicles. It's so hideous! I'm going to spiff it up soon, though. So basically recycling <3 <3 <3 dreams can come true. I get to talk trash all the time with people who know more about recycling than I do!!!

Today I woke up early to go yard-sailing. The apartment doesn't have anything in it and E and I both are living out of suitcases only, so we don't have house crap, or a car to get it. I picked up some nice hangers, a pot, a hairdryer, hair straightener, picture hanging kit, peeler, etc at a church yard sale for $10 so that was very fruitful. E and I went to Target and got a lot of things we needed. I'm so used to doing that kind of thing at thrift stores but we really needed the stuff ASAP.

I just got back from going to check out a bed I found for sale on craigslist. It is AMAZING how expensive brand-new beds are, and yeah Ikea beds are cheap but they are crappy. The apartment I went to was a guy and his girlfriend, they had really nice stuff. I wish I weren't so broke (the security deposit and the rent really broke the bank and I don't get my first paycheck till next week!) But I am springing for this bed because it is really nice and almost brand new for a fraction of the new price. I got an iron, too. I haven't ironed a damn thing since I graduated from high school.

It's so weird having to wear work clothes, it's the same crap I had to wear in high school (we had a strict dress code) and I forgot how uncomfortable it is / the ironing part. yeesh.

So I am going to update the blog so it's not "recent college grad looking for work" to "happy college grad starting out new in WASHINGTON DC!!!!!!!!!!!" I'll keep you posted on the happenings of DC, there is always something insane, every day!

OH YEAH: NEW COMPUTER= FULL POSTING CAPABILITIES! I'll get on that!

Are there black people in Alaska?

2008-09-08T15:24:00.002-04:00

I just watched this (posted on another blog) and just laughed and laughed. Diddy knows.

I have a job and I'm starting soon! With the "official" news of getting the job has come a mountain of other things to do- I'm getting my very first laptop (!), I'm flying to DC in about a week, I'm super busy. Anyone who has any connections in DC PLEASE hook me up. This is when all the social capital I've been building up my whole life comes into play! Work social capital, work!

Rainbows and Moonbeams

2008-08-29T00:41:00.006-04:00

Oh yeah!!! I basically got a job offer today through a voicemail (?) but that's ok with me! I still have to give them my references but OH YEAH!!! Success!

Also WHAT'S UP DEMOCRATS!!! BARACK IS THE MESSIAH!! HE WILL SAVE US ALL!!! I was pretty sure that when he opened his mouth tonight at the DNC rainbows and moonbeams were going to come out but instead it was RAINBOWS AND MOONBEAMS OF HOPE?! I sure hope he can deliver because there are a lot of people who really believe that the man is going to save us all, myself included. So I guess I'm a member of the church of Barack. Let us pray.

I'm back in South Carolina. I'll try to post more now that things are actually happening.

lametown

2008-08-18T14:07:00.004-04:00

Job search blues, today for the first time in a long time. Why is it so hard? Why do I feel so bad? It's like being in gym class and not getting picked for either team, all summer.

So lame. I feel like an extreme loser. I'm running out of patience.

Great Northeast Adventure GO!

2008-08-14T23:15:00.005-04:00

So I've been adventuring. It goes like this:

July 29 (?) started driving to Maine (from South Carolina) for vacation with boyfriend's family.
Stopped in Baltimore and walked the streets (go get your Gram Parsons)
Stopped in Providence and ate at La Creperie with C
Got to Maine

-Farming adventures- harvesting wax beans and lettuce on an organic farm

-Sailing

-Lobster races a la Annie Hall but not as annoying (that movie is weird)

-Hiking at the Holbrook Island Sanctuary

-Discount shopping at Reny's and Marden's

-Endless Flight of the Concords listening

-Being mistaken for townies (only the bf and me) in Portland, ME

-General family cheerleader activities because I'm not actually related

More stories later on that, maybe. It was really cold and rainy the whole time and I LOVED it. Being cold.. in August. It's so magical. (cue the song "Carolina Girls")

Now I'm in Providence, Rhode Island chilling with C in her apartment. When my boyfriend's family was driving back to South Carolina I just thought... why on earth would I want to go back there. Especially right now, when the highs have been in the 100's. So I just stayed in Providence and watched them leave. I was only going to stay for a week but I have no real obligations- so I'm going to stay until the end of August and help C move out and drive down to South Carolina. We're going to have a yard sale on Saturday. She knits a lot and we cook together. We got an amazing deal at Jcrew the other day (2 dresses and a skirt for $22? Jcrew?! did you know they have a 15% student discount?) We picked a lot of blueberries. She took me to Ikea!!!!! Super adventures GO!

Yesterday I went to Boston to meet up with some college friends. We had so much fun going to the Garment District, walking around Harvard, discussing all the medical study opportunities available in the Boston area, eating in China Town at the best vegetarian restaurant EVER (that had these blended fruit and coconut milk smoothie things), riding the T, finding the perfect iced coffee, just everything. I have lots of pictures but I didn't bring my camera cord, I'll have to ask C for one. Seeing all these people (and getting the hell out of South Carolina) has made me feel so much better in general. I'm still keeping up with the job search and applying and interviewing-- but getting out and doing different things is so nice. We're going to meet up again next week and try to add more Warren Wilson friends to the mix.

Today on my way back to Providence I was waiting for the T and I got mistaken for a townie AGAIN. Way to go me!!!

Another main reason I've been feeling so bad lately at home in South Carolina has been the inadequacy I feel about not having a steady job, not getting a job, all the rejection letters, missing college, etc. It is such a lonely business to not have a car and be stuck in a town when you had so many dreams about post-collegiate life. Seeing old friends my age in the EXACT SAME SITUATION having the EXACT SAME conversations about the job search, interviews, waiting for calls and emails- it has made me feel not quite so alone. It is much better to go through this with other people going through it too. It's hard to remember that I'm not alone when I'm so removed from so many people I love.

I also started a new project for this blog. I am always excited when I see how other places recycle- what kind of cans they use, how they label their containers, etc. I've started taking pictures of all the different ones I've seen in my travels and hopefully I'll get to post them to have a kind of collection for the "trashlady." Not that anyone would be interested in how other cities and schools recycle- it's just cool seeing it in action. You can see most of the containers people use in catalogues but for me it is also a documentation of where I've been traveling. So... soon you can look at recycling containers.

sad

2008-07-29T01:03:00.004-04:00

I am just really sad. Sad, fed up, sick, nervous. Reality sure does hit hard.

I get cryptic when things are too much for the internet. It really is such a superficial place. It's becoming weirder and weirder how even though it is so superficial, it has become the communication medium for some really serious stuff. I don't know how to feel about that and my anthropology goggles are whirring at work trying to make sense of it. So sad.

death and rejection

2008-07-24T11:41:00.003-04:00

I know it's been a while since I wrote. I had some serious internet paranoia about employers "finding me" on the internet so I worked for a couple days to try to keep my online presence down to a minimum. Let it be known, young bloggers, don't ever use your full name on ANYTHING unless you want it to be found by the pope, your grandma, your novio/novias mom, or the people that you want to HIRE YOU IN THE FUTURE. I have been so naive.

Yesterday I went to the funeral for my great-aunt in Walterboro, South Carolina. I felt really sad for my grandmother because she was so sad that her sister died. It must be such a terrible feeling to watch your family die and know that you're next and not far off. She's about to be 89, so I'm not sure if she even realizes these things or not (a little dementia can be a good thing). The service was at a Baptist church and was really bizarre, not exactly what I'm used to in term of religion. Like any event involving ritual or rites of passage, I had my anthropology goggles on. In this service, it was run clearly by men. Three male preachers or pastors or whatever they were led the pal bearers in a processional inside the church. The three head guys then ran the service, which involved no interaction from the guests (congregation)- except for that optional "amen" at the end of certain prayers. The only singing was done by one soloist man who was in the front, too. I wanna know where the women at? Just not my cup of tea. But- my great aunt's religion did help her a lot in her life and especially when she was sick in the hospital.

You really have to credit religion for serving its purpose sometimes. One thing about anthropology goggles and religion is that it can turn you into an atheist really fast- though I'm not. I still believe but I also understand what the function of religions ARE and how they can change over time to suit the spiritual needs of a culture (not much sacrifice going on in the US anymore, is there? There are reasons for this kind of cultural change).

So anyway. I didn't get one of the jobs that I really really wanted. When that happened it was the first time I have cried during this whole process. It's just so disappointing to be rejected and not know why- it really does make you feel like you're damaged goods or that there is something wrong with you or that you're doing something wrong with the process. Even worse, to not get an answer one way or another from the potential employer by the date they said they would get back to you. I practically spammed this lady to get an answer out of her- and let it be known that if an employer doesn't get back to you quickly / on time, chances are you didn't catch that bus to employment town. They will stay in close touch with those that they want and a lot of times just "forget" about the no-gos. It seems like employers just like to avoid that whole "I'm just not that into you" message so they just don't say anything at all. How hard is it to send an email or call a person and just say- hey, you're great but we're looking for something else. I am trying to stay positive. I got an encouraging phone message about another job- I'm on the "short list." The politics with this stuff are incredible.

So I am alive, happy internet. I'm still dealing with internet paranoia but I think I have it under control now.

point and laugh at the politicians

2008-07-15T18:35:00.003-04:00

More interviews. One really good one recently.

The governor of South Carolina flubbed up on tv and it's funny. Point and laugh at the dumb puppet!!! What's the difference between Bush and McCain? NAFTA? Sorry Sanford, I guess there is something worse that has come out of your mouth since you spoke at my high school graduation. His main piece of advice during that speech was "Don't go through life with a bucket on your head." Maybe you should take your own advice, Mark. laugh laugh laugh.

lies

2008-07-11T17:47:00.004-04:00

so I guess what they meant by "we'll get back to you by the end of next week" was "we'll get back to you maybe at the beginning of the week after that" or "we'll get back to you whenever we feel like it and just tell you lies."

ps- I wrote a really long post yesterday about ageism toward young applicants but I removed it because it slams a recent interview I had. Internet paranoia is real.

taco extravaganza, cops in Russia, computer sadness

2008-07-09T16:23:00.004-04:00

So a couple nights ago the boyfriend and I were watching some late night TV when we came across COPS in Russia. This is kind of like regular COPS except that the cops in Russia are police officers terrorizing the people of Moscow in 1989. So weird. It's not even on imdb.

I got a job offer. I'm not going to take it, though. I don't think it would cut the mustard, especially in the college-loan-payback department. Moving to Chicago to sort recyclables would be cool, for about a week. The people with the organization are really nice though, especially the guy I talked to. He said he'd keep me in mind for future positions. Sheesh. I'm still waiting on a lot of other jobs. I have another interview tomorrow with a job that could be really cool- so things are not completely stagnant. I'm supposed to hear back about a job by the end of this week, too.

Last night the boyfriend (who hates being referred to as "the boyfriend"- I guess I can say "my boyfriend" now) and I went to The Whig, an underground (literally) bar in Columbia, SC. They have $.50 tacos every Tuesday night so we try to go every now and then. Last night we were the last people to order tacos so they gave us ALL the tacos that they had made so that they wouldn't be throwing them away. Taco extravaganza! The Whig is the only bar I've been to in Columbia that I really feel ok going to. All my other experiences usually have involved that nasty sorority girl look-over and frat boy check-out. Ugh, that shit makes me feel like such a fish out of water. I'm so unaccustomed to it having lived in Asheville for the past four years that when I am confronted with it I feel really uncomfortable. My boyfriend was saying that someone referred to The Whig as "that bar where all the guys with beards go." Sure enough, thank God for The Whig.

Yesterday I spent at least 2-3 hours trying to hook up my computer to my mom's cable internet. I have tried everything on my own, re-setting configurations, fiddling with the modem and the ethernet cord, all that crap. I called Time Warner and a girl there walked me through some stuff and proceeded to tell me that the problem was with the configuration (NO DUH) and that it was outside of her troubleshooting area and that I would have to call Dell. So I call Dell and talk to a couple people in India. One nice man walked me through a lot of different things, none of which worked. He then concluded that the problem was either with my ISP (Time Warner) or I just needed to backup all my crap and re-install Windows. Um... is this really that big of a deal? Can anyone out there please help me? It's getting so ridiculous! My computer could connect to all the different connections I had at school. So frustrating.

interviews, peaches, parades and Jesus

2008-07-05T00:04:00.004-04:00

The job hunt is kind of like babysitting. You have to constantly check the kids and make sure they heard you over and over until eventually they are the ones calling YOU. Finally, I'm getting calls instead of emails. I had another interview last week that (I thought) went well. I'm supposed to hear back from them next week. I also got called for an interview with another position next week(!!!) Things are happening! Of course, just like the last time things got "rolling" with this process, I'm starting to FREAK OUT about how big this first job is/could be.

In other news: my mom decided this year we really had to go to the Lexington County Peach Festival in Gilbert, SC for the 4th of July. I'm always up for a parade (I am my mother's daughter, after all) so we trekked out to the 'pit' of South Carolina for this classy celebration. The parade piqued my "anthropology goggles" in that all parades, especially small town home grown county-sponsored ones, are representations of a culture as the "officials" would want the culture to be portrayed as. It's a socialization mechanism to reinforce certain cultural values- putting the values on display as "correct" and "celebrated." For the Peach Parade I saw today, I noticed a few things.

In addition to the overwhelming Christian / Baptist presence (a camel with a banner tied to it that read "Come see me at the Christmas Pageant at ___ Baptist Church!" While the girl leading it fed it Mountain Dew. She'd open a bottle, hold it up to the camel's mouth and the camel would take it and tilt it's head back and drink the whole thing. I think that camel probably drank 15 Mountain Dew's today. It's probably dead.) The main representation of women were as beauty pageant winners. All of these women were young, beautiful, many of them teenagers and children, adorned with crowns, gowns, and titles like "Little Miss Peach Queen," "Miss SC Poultry" and some kind of title about "Miss Tiny-Tot." Of course, there were girls in the marching band, some women in the senior center float, the red-had ladies, etc, but by far the most women were in the parade as beauty queens. The one young woman who was not the standard southern blonde skinny type was instantly ridiculed by the audience near where I was standing- they obviously already knew what an ideal young woman should look like- and she didn't cut it: (by rejecting what they saw in offhand comments, they affirm their cultural capital in the community).

The men in the parade, however, were present driving all the vehicles for the parade (all of them), all the tractors (at least 10), all of the politicians campaigning were men (with the exception of one), all of the veterans present were men, etc. Occasionally, a wife would stand behind her husband as he drove the tractor, and with the politicians the families of the politicians would be in the vehicle with them. There were some girls on the FFA float, which I was glad to see, but for the most part the parade had very clear gender boundaries- the most clear of which was that women do not drive tractors, they are queens! My mom grumbled that this was a "masculine parade!" and that she wanted to go to a gay parade next instead. I'll go with you, mom. Parades really are a cultural anthropology pool party. Seriously.

Getting up close and personal with deep southern culture makes me just laugh and laugh. If I don't laugh at it and label it I just get mad. I get mad anyway. One float for the Woodmen of the World had a large banner that proclaimed: "The Woodmen of the World support our Arm Forces." Sweet Jesus. But Jesus really was there with us today. As we were walking back to the car in the 95 degree heat we were becoming very thirsty. Right as one of us mentioned that we wanted something to drink this woman appeared and asked us, "would you like some ice cold bottled water? It's free" of course we accepted and thanked her a lot. We looked across the street and saw Jesus himself smiling at us from the Gilbert Baptist Church. What a day!

I need an evening activity.

2008-07-01T20:51:00.005-04:00

I'm shedding small, pretend tears over the extermination of my college email address. Warren Wilson is so pathetic they don't give out alumni email- so bye bye .edu. Bye bye, .edu identity and cultural capital. I'm a little peeved about it even though I knew it was coming. I suppose that since almost everyone I know is on Facebook I shouldn't be too concerned.

Today I went on a long walk. I saw two cats. I walked 4.5 miles. I would think I would have seen more cats than that? I wore a pedometer to see how many steps that was... a little over 9000. I think I'll wear the pedometer more often to see how many steps I take a day. I've been acting entirely too lazy lately.

I made the Moosewood brownies again. They turned out like chocolate cake, again. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong? Maybe I shouldn't use the mixer next time. I know that the batter is too fluffy for it to be a brownie texture.

%&#^@(!

2008-07-01T12:29:00.003-04:00

OK. Holy !*%&#

I got a call this morning from someone working for a company called The Resource Center. I thought it was the followup call from the interview I had on Friday from an organization called The Resource Center. So I returned the call just now only to find that this was A DIFFERENT COMPANY and I was on the phone with someone wanting to go through all the "preliminary phone interview" stuff for a job/company that I had NO IDEA WHAT WAS. Cool. So of course I sounded like an idiot because the jobs I've been applying to fall into two categories: recycling and not recycling- and I didn't know what on earth this thing was. One of my saving graces, I guess, was that their job posting didn't say much about them anyways.

UGH I JUST HATE SOUNDING LIKE AN IDIOT. For all you who think that naming your company "The Resource Center" would be great- get a little more creative, I beg you.

I just want a meaningful job.

2008-06-30T16:13:00.005-04:00

I'm feeling really down today. I got two rejection emails today from really cool jobs. There have been no new jobs (I liked) to apply to in 5 days. These things are just an equation for self-doubt and frustration. The interview I had on Friday went well and they are going to call back sometime this week for another. I've got another interview for a different job on Wednesday of this week to look forward to, so at least the week isn't blank. ...But ugh, now is when I really wonder why I didn't forgo the fun in college and go to a free in-state school and major in computer science or programming or something. Man, feeling like crap really makes you loose faith.

On Saturday the boyfriend and I went to the flea market (didn't find anything) and to Pets Incorporated, a no-kill animal shelter in West Columbia. That is the shelter I used to volunteer with when I was in high school and it's the shelter where the boyfriend got his dogs. They re-did their whole setup and it's really nice now. When I use GoodSearch I always use Pets Inc as the organization to give to.

So Saturday night my friend WB had an Arrested Development themed birthday party. It's the first "real" party I've been to since I came home- maybe even the first "real" party I've ever been to in this city. I tried to dress up as Rita, Michael's girlfriend that has the brain of a 4 year old. I had a great time hanging out with old friends. They even had chocolate banana shots (which I didn't really like) but it was a great idea (if you've ever seen the show).

these hands used to pick tomatos and now these hands pick brain tumors

2008-06-26T22:55:00.002-04:00

Has anyone seen Hopkins? This TV show is GREAT. I'm always a sucker for reality documentary kind of shows. This one follows doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital. The guy that was my favorite on this episode came to the US as an illegal immigrant from Mexico and worked himself up to be a neurosurgeon. It came on tonight (Wednesday) at 9.

coconutty

2008-06-26T13:34:00.002-04:00

So I've been craving some serious coconut since the summer heat hit South Carolina. The coconut popsicles I've been eating just haven't been cutting it entirely (although they are REALLY good). So last night I cooked up some coconut pineapple curry. My mom used to make it a lot when I was in high school and it's really easy to do. It's not really for those who don't like tastebud parties (ie- hot, flavorful food).

Here's what you need:
1 medium-sized frying pan / low rimmed pot
1 can of coconut milk (regular or light, your preference)
1 fresh pineapple (a can of pineapple also works but make sure you drain the juice out! drink up!)
1 can of sliced water chestnuts (drain these too)
1 onion (I like Vidalias if they are in season)
1 fresh green pepper
curry
cayenne (or chili powder, or crushed red pepper)
salt
1 hot green pepper (optional)
chicken (optional)

So you cut the onion and the peppers up and saute them in a little olive oil until it's all a little softer but it's all still crunchy looking. I guess if you were cooking chicken with it you'd throw that in and cook that at this point too. Then you open up the water chestnuts and dump those in along with the pineapple. Stir that around for a short time and then pour the coconut milk in. Cut the heat to medium and add the curry to taste. I use a lot- my curry is yellow like the sun on the Teletubbies. Then I add the cayenne to taste (wait for it, it's a slow heat) and some salt to taste. Let that simmer for a little while. That's basically it- serve over rice and you've got some delicious yellow curry! Watch out for the hot green pepper, though. That will curl your hair.

Next up: Tahitian Coconut Bread. C gave me a recipe she got in Hawaii when she was on vacation with her family. Then maybe some Coconut Milk Sticky Rice with Mango? Homemade coconut popcicles? I better get off the computer- another one of those afternoon thunderstorms looks like it's going to rumble the city for a while.